We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I'm am so lost in knowing what love is I'm always making the wrong choices where love is concerned I was born June 26, 1959, at 10:26 PM. I'm in my second marriage and we constantly fight all the time. I got married 6yrs ago after I lost my son who was murdered. I still have such a void and it's still painful to bear. I got married a year later in 1994 on my son's birthday. I thought this guy was the one but I found out things about his life style that bothers me. He was so wrong to hide such a thing from me. I still believe he is hiding more than he has already let out of the closet. He is a Capricorn born Jan 19th 1960.I cannot deal with his lifestyle. He says he is not gay he just likes to wear women's clothes. Back in May of this year I left him because I feel like such a fool to have trusted him. I believed he loved me and now I'm sorry that I was so vulnerable. In 93 when I lost my boy and I was looking for love and comfort I made a huge bad choice. I'm still married to him but things are not right anymore. I care about him because he took care of my daughter and I when I needed someone, but we fight constantly over him wearing women's clothes. I did not get married for this reason. I am so hurt by all this and have been trying to keep it together but I'm emotionally tired. I've been deceived, lied to and hurt. Yes I'm a big fool for getting married after I lost my son. Now I don't know what real love is, who to trust, or what to do. I'm getting so withdrawn my family says you made a vow before GOD when you got married so honor it. Yes I did and had I of known this before I would not be married to him. Please help I don't know what to do.
There is this guy who likes me at work and I told him to get away from me I didn't mean to hurt him he was born February 1st Aquarius man. He knows I'm married and I believe he wants to be more then friends. He is so shy kind and he make me happy to be around him but I didn't tell him that most of the time when he is near me I tremble. I can feel how his heart beats or when something is bothering him I'd love to be friends but its too hard right now. I don't trust to many people right now and I don't want to hurt anyone. Sorry this is so long. I just don't know what to do or who to believe and most of all it hurts not being able to be friends with this guy at work. It has to be this way. He has three wonderful kids but I'm sorry to not be able to help him with advice or anything because I have enough to deal with myself. Can you tell me if the man I'm married to is withholding more secrets I would be appreciative. I'm so afraid to try again but then again I'm married forever so what difference does it make. If Mr. right is still out there he's gonna pass me by. Do you have any help for me?
Desperately Lost
Dear Desperately Lost
The comparison with your husband is not bad. Yes there is some deception in an area regarding his and your beliefs and ethics but that doesn't mean that it can't work. You need to be supportive, talk to him about the way you feel and ask him to go to counseling with you. Regarding your friend at work, you did not mention his year of birth making it difficult for me to assess your comparison however he does fall in an area of your chart that deals with work, secret affairs and probable difficulties that could easily result in you losing your job. I would be extremely careful with your Aquarius friend. If you become intimate with him while you are both still in your present marriages you are never going to be able to trust one another in the future. For now you should be putting more effort into making your marriage work and less into worrying about the man at work.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia:I have been a good friend to a male, born -----------------. for a number of years. There are no romantic feelings between the two of us, but we do enjoy talking to each other. In the past two years he has been dating a young woman, born ----------------- Since they began dating, his behavior has become erratic. He lies, or tells people just what they want to hear, doesn't keep appointments, ignores his family and friends, and obsesses about being with her. Now they are engaged, and those of us who know them want to feel happy for them, but there isn't anyone in his circle of family or friends that is happy. She is very aloof, and tends to control him and everyone else around her. Can you give us some guidance? Their behavior, together and separate, is making life miserable on a lot of people and messing up events and gatherings to the point that no one wants them around any more. If possible, I would appreciate discretion when answering these questions. Thank you for your help, Eugenia.
Faithful Reader
Dear Faithful Reader
Although the two in question just have a so so comparison it is workable. The biggest problem appears to be when dealing with friends and relatives. I'm not saying that the marriage or relationship will last, but I am saying that there is nothing that you or anyone else can do about it. Your Libra friend has fallen in love and if you fight it he will not be your friend. He is in a high cycle where love and marriage is concerned therefore this has come into his life at the right moment for him. In her case, she is somewhat erratic and probably not quite as sure about her future with him as he is with his future with her. You are best to let him follow his course of action and support his decision. If you and his other friends feel so strongly that you are willing to lose the connection with him I suggest that you tell him your true feelings about this girl and let him decide what he will do. Maybe if you understand what it is that she does for him you will be able to accept her.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
