We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
My parents divorced before I went to primary school and then I lived with my father. Since I was small, I was bullied. My mother worked in another city and did not care about me. My father treated me this way because he was remarried and had other children. My mother told me that my grandmother did not treat her well when she was small. This was why she did not know how to show her love to me. I was brought up under this environment and became very lonely. I was afraid to have contact with people. I had a few boyfriends and none of them worked out. I wanted so much my own family but every time I got hurt. With no parents to love, other people looked down on me. When I was at work, it did not turn out okay and I was always faced with many problems. I did not know how to deal with people and felt lost. After so many failures, I've lost my confidence totally. Now I have this boyfriend for over a year. He is a good person but he has a very stubborn character and that I can hardly accept. He always says something to hurt me. He needs someone to take care of him while I also long for someone who can look after me. I doubt if we can be a happy couple but I trust his integrity and like his family who treat me well. Now I just lost my job and had a fight with him.
My mother came back to Shanghai and bought an apartment. Now I am living with her but my mother does not care what I am doing. If you didn't know, you would think I am so lucky with a good apartment and a nice looking face. But in fact I have nothing, no family and no career. My life doesn't have any meaning. Is my life supposed to be this way? Did I do something wrong in my last life?
I was born on October 21, 1972 at around 3:30 am. My boyfriend was born on July 8, 1973 at 5 o'clock (I am not sure how accurate this is).
Hope you can give me some guidance. Thank you.
LOST
Dear LOST
Don't be so hard on yourself and your family. Your chart does show some problems with family however you must realize that the grass always appears to be greener on the other side of the fence. In other words this is an obstacle that you can and will overcome. You can learn from the experience you have had. Although you aren't positive what it would be like to have a loving family it isn't hard to know what you consider a loving family to be. Your boyfriend does match up quite nicely to your chart however there is potential for arguing. I do believe that when you love someone and you truly care about him that you will inevitably have disagreements. There is no apparent deception in your comparison only the fact that you will both overreact at times and this has probably resulted in your breakup. Please call him and try to work out your differences. You said that his family is kind and good to you, therefore you have a base to learn from. If you follow what has worked for them it will work for you as well.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
It is Easter today...just another day...like any other. Please let me explain: In March 1990 my husband was operated on for a giant brain-aneurysm...he lived...had a massive stroke and was hospitalized and ended up in a wheelchair and months later to a quad-cane and brain damaged. He was 55 years old and I was 51 years young.
I took him home many months later and started to care for him. The doctors did not tell me about the brain injury nor the "surprise seizures".
LIFE turned into HEll.I'm so sick of all of this...I need a strong shoulder to lean on and a kind word. Would love to touch a person and walk hand in hand. A kind word, a smile, a kiss....am I asking too much???? Is there still " a bright SPOT on my horizon???"
Loveless Poohchen.
Dear Loveless Poohchen
On the good side you do live in a country that offers so many social services and it's time you went beyond family and made the next move. God put us here for a good time not a long time and I believe that no one should endure suffering at the hand of someone who is no longer in control of who he or she is or what they do. The comparison with your Leo husband wasn't the greatest to begin with and although I usually like two Leo's together in your case it wasn't the greatest. With a build up of natal planets in Virgo in an area of your chart that deals with partnerships your loyalty and determination to do what you feel is the right thing has brought you to this case scenario. All that said you must realize that you can't do it all by yourself. Your comparison with your husband indicates that you are moving into a period due to transiting Saturn and Uranus that could lead to violence on top of the verbal abuse and I strongly suggest that you get his name on a waiting list so that you can put him into a home where he will be better cared for and where you can visit him without the worry of being abused. It is time for you to get on with your life and although that doesn't mean to forget about him it does mean that you have to look out for your own interests as well. Obviously if you can not get help in the home because of the way he is you need to get him out of the house and into safe quarters where he also can continue his life in good hands and with other people who are in a similar situation. Your situation will not get better until you do something about it therefore I strongly urge you to take the next step and talk to someone who can help you place him in a good facility where he will be cared for and you will be safe.
Eugenia
Hello again Eugenia,
I wrote you last year in May, telling you about the problems with my husband (born January 31 1959, 2.50am) and my situation with the immigration status in US. I tried to follow your advice and go with him to marriage counseling, but the things were not very good. He didn't want to go first, and when he went, he said that the counseling it doesn't work for him because nobody will come to tell him that he is wrong, when he knows that he is right.
In December, last year, I found 4 email accounts full of emails back and forth with a lot of women. Many of them were very in love with him. He promised them marriage and a good situation in US. A women from Mexico called at the house and she was very upset when she found out that he is married. Nobody from his women in Internet knew that he is married. He recognized everything he did, but in the same time he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Its like: "I don't want you because you know too many things about me now."
Eugenia, I tried everything with this man, I tried to play by the rules in this marriage, but he deceived me so many times that I don't trust him anymore. He lied to me from the beginning, he controls me in every way you can think about it, and he abuses me mentally very hard. My main problem is the immigration situation in this moment; he keeps me stuck in the house, like a slave. From more than 6 months, I am trying to apply for getting a legal status in the country, together with my daughter, with a law who defends women and children who live in abusive relationships with their husbands, but because I don't have money to pay a lawyer (my husband controls all the finances), I was not able to find somebody to help me apply, even if I went to all the places where you can receive free legal services. I wanted to leave him many times in the last year, since I wrote you, but I don't have where to go and what to do. I cannot work and make a living together with my daughter without him. The situation is very difficult and I am really desperate.
My first question is if you see something about this situation in my chart, and when do you think that I will be able to resolve something?
Trying to find more things about my husband activity in Internet, going in chats and other sites where I found out he was all the time, I met a man, 2 months ago. He is psychologist and professor to a university, not very close to my city. Since February, we chat and emailed each other each day. We talked on the phone few times. We have good time together. We laugh a lot, and he is very considerate and nice...He was born October 15, 1957, at 12.26pm.He understood my situation, and we decided to take it slow because of my situation. He wants to meet me soon.
Sometimes I feel bad thinking that now I am doing the same thing my husband did with his secret life in Internet, but in the same time, I feel that I need somebody in my life to get through all this mess that I have to live, and mentally and emotionally I don't feel connected with my husband anymore. I don't think that he deserves my love and my respect after all the garbage he put on our life together.
Do I have any future with this new man in my life? I had so many bad experiences with my 2 divorces, now the 3rd husband is a real jerk, my horrible situation with the legal status and everything, and I am really afraid to suffer again. I don't want you to believe that I am jumping in a new relationship when I am still in such a mess.... but this guy seems to bring a lot of light in my miserable life....
Thank you a lot for all your help,
gabituca
Hi grabituca
You are taking the wrong approach by doing the same thing you are accusing your husband of doing. Think about your daughter not your physical needs right now. The man you have met on the internet does not match up to you at all in fact I do
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