We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
My parents divorced before I went to primary school and then I lived with my father. Since I was small, I was bullied. My mother worked in another city and did not care about me. My father treated me this way because he was remarried and had other children. My mother told me that my grandmother did not treat her well when she was small. This was why she did not know how to show her love to me. I was brought up under this environment and became very lonely. I was afraid to have contact with people. I had a few boyfriends and none of them worked out. I wanted so much my own family but every time I got hurt. With no parents to love, other people looked down on me. When I was at work, it did not turn out okay and I was always faced with many problems. I did not know how to deal with people and felt lost. After so many failures, I've lost my confidence totally. Now I have this boyfriend for over a year. He is a good person but he has a very stubborn character and that I can hardly accept. He always says something to hurt me. He needs someone to take care of him while I also long for someone who can look after me. I doubt if we can be a happy couple but I trust his integrity and like his family who treat me well. Now I just lost my job and had a fight with him.
My mother came back to Shanghai and bought an apartment. Now I am living with her but my mother does not care what I am doing. If you didn't know, you would think I am so lucky with a good apartment and a nice looking face. But in fact I have nothing, no family and no career. My life doesn't have any meaning. Is my life supposed to be this way? Did I do something wrong in my last life?
I was born on October 21, 1972 at around 3:30 am. My boyfriend was born on July 8, 1973 at 5 o'clock (I am not sure how accurate this is).
Hope you can give me some guidance. Thank you.
LOST
Dear LOST
Don't be so hard on yourself and your family. Your chart does show some problems with family however you must realize that the grass always appears to be greener on the other side of the fence. In other words this is an obstacle that you can and will overcome. You can learn from the experience you have had. Although you aren't positive what it would be like to have a loving family it isn't hard to know what you consider a loving family to be. Your boyfriend does match up quite nicely to your chart however there is potential for arguing. I do believe that when you love someone and you truly care about him that you will inevitably have disagreements. There is no apparent deception in your comparison only the fact that you will both overreact at times and this has probably resulted in your breakup. Please call him and try to work out your differences. You said that his family is kind and good to you, therefore you have a base to learn from. If you follow what has worked for them it will work for you as well.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am at a standstill in my life. For 2 1/2 years I dated a man born 10/3/60 10:30AM. He and I grew up in the same community and town. We had not seen each other in 15 years and were "fixed up" by mutual friends. The relationship had gone through many ups and downs, at times splitting for weeks and months at a time. I recently completed my M Ed. and needed to stay focused on my goals. He has been a toll collector for 18 years and has a 16-year-old son from a previous relationship that left him raising a son alone and with really crappy hours, the kid is both spoiled and neglected. I have tried nearly everything possible to stay with him, but once I was able to commit to the relationship, his inability to make decisions and be more conscientious of money and time began to widdle away at our relationship. I loved and still love him. In the last year we have lost a child, he has cheated on me twice, and basically lost sight of what was once a strong and vibrant respect for one another. I caught him both times and his wealthy family thinks that he is weak, and that I am too good for him and a tad bit too controlling. We dreamed of many things together. I helped him find and fix up his dream home. Prior to his cheating we were planning a family and life together. I know that I have difficulty letting go in a relationship and wonder if I will ever find someone with whom to spend my life. I thought he was my soul mate. I thought the balance of his laid back approach to life and my ability to solve problems and make things happen would culminate into marriage. We are both seeing other people 3 months after the split and recently were drawn together by finances and we ended up making love. I am confused and tormented by what could have but can never be. We often said that if he didn't have his son we would already have been married. He is the kind of man that can't be left alone, and I refused to live with him until he got a grip of his son's law breaking/disrespectful behavior (I have a 9 year old) before living together and being a family. We have had quite a dramatic relationship. The disrespect was making me miserable. Do you think he could my soul mate? Am I foolish to believe he could ever evolve into a stronger man and be happy with a good woman like me? I can't believe I still want him after everything we have been through. My head says run, but my heart says "maybe someday" My DOB is 9/11/61 at 11:59 PM. Will I ever find a soul mate, and does he exist? I am dating, but unable to find anyone who makes me feel hope.
An empty - Gypsyheart
Dear Gypsyheart
I think you should focus your time and energy on your son, your own home, travel, self-improvement and socializing. You have latched on to a man who has no backbone and although he probably is an attractive package due to his family prominence you are best not to waste any more time on the prospect of spending the rest of your life with him. Your comparison indicates that this man will bring you sorrow. The past three years this mans chart has experienced all sorts of uncertainties and weaknesses that have resulted in his sons need to do whatever it takes to get some attention. This man is not likely to get his act together in the near future therefore you should get on with your life and forget about what might have been. Your comparison with him was not that great and I know that you can do much better. You do not need a weak man but instead one strong enough to balance your need to control. Although the sign Scorpio is definitely a sign that draws you, this particular Scorpio is not the one. You also match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Taurus and Gemini. You should always run a comparison through our compatibility service before you let someone new capture your heart. Your chart indicates that if you get out and do things that you enjoy over the course of th
Dear Eugenia,
I have two babies, a 36-month-old boy and a 20-month old girl. Their father has been an addiction of mine for four years. Just when I think I have finally made it to a place in my life where I can let go of him; I am pregnant again. I am torn between continuing in this one-sided relationship for the sake of our children, who adore him, while having another baby; or not; and disconnecting from him completely. I was born 7/6/65 at 5:30 EST and he was born 1/20/63 at 8:30p.m. PST. I fear that if I don?t walk away soon, I never will; but I feel like it is better the devil you know, then the devil you don?t know. I would really appreciate some guidance. I am afraid I won?t make the best decision for my two babies. He isn?t very kind to me; he is very abusive, distrustful and threatening. It has taken a long time and a lot of distance to break down, a little, his control of my emotions and feelings of self worth. I really need some ones insight into his character strengths and weaknesses and what is in store for our future.
Please respond
Dear Please respond
I can see your dilemma. I call this set up meeting your messiah. In other words you are so connected to this man you can?t help yourself and yet he is not good for you. The comparison was quite something, filled with love, hate, passion, deception, sorrow and so on. It is apparent that when he is feeling guilty, because he has done something that he probably shouldn?t, like cheats on you, he becomes abusive to cover it up. It is important that you don?t raise your children in this setting or they will grow up thinking that this is the way people should treat one another. I do not believe that your love is one-sided but I do believe that this man is not good for you. You are coming into a period that will be even more difficult where relationships are concerned. You can use this period to take further abuse from him or you can use this period to get out on your own with your children and start a new life. Neither will be easy but the later will certainly lead to a better future for you and your children. Opportunities for you to meet someone else are apparent and I believe you should do just that. It will help you forget about your abusive partner. Your chart also indicates that you are not likely to be with just one partner throughout your life. There is also evidence in your chart that you do attract men who will try to control and confine you. I suggest that you have an astrological evaluation done prior to giving your heart to the next man you want to become intimate with. Build on friendship first and you?ll stand a better chance of developing a long lasting union. You are coming into a high cycle where work and money are concerned. I feel confident that if you put your energy into your work, your children, your new home and meeting new friends and lovers you will find that your life will unfold quite nicely as we go into the year 2001. It sometimes helps to make a list of all the reasons that you feel that you should not be with your ex. Like the things he brings out in you that you don?t like and the things he does that you can?t live with. Every time he tries to contact you or you want to contact him pull out your list and read it just to remind yourself why you left him.
Eugenia
