We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
My parents divorced before I went to primary school and then I lived with my father. Since I was small, I was bullied. My mother worked in another city and did not care about me. My father treated me this way because he was remarried and had other children. My mother told me that my grandmother did not treat her well when she was small. This was why she did not know how to show her love to me. I was brought up under this environment and became very lonely. I was afraid to have contact with people. I had a few boyfriends and none of them worked out. I wanted so much my own family but every time I got hurt. With no parents to love, other people looked down on me. When I was at work, it did not turn out okay and I was always faced with many problems. I did not know how to deal with people and felt lost. After so many failures, I've lost my confidence totally. Now I have this boyfriend for over a year. He is a good person but he has a very stubborn character and that I can hardly accept. He always says something to hurt me. He needs someone to take care of him while I also long for someone who can look after me. I doubt if we can be a happy couple but I trust his integrity and like his family who treat me well. Now I just lost my job and had a fight with him.
My mother came back to Shanghai and bought an apartment. Now I am living with her but my mother does not care what I am doing. If you didn't know, you would think I am so lucky with a good apartment and a nice looking face. But in fact I have nothing, no family and no career. My life doesn't have any meaning. Is my life supposed to be this way? Did I do something wrong in my last life?
I was born on October 21, 1972 at around 3:30 am. My boyfriend was born on July 8, 1973 at 5 o'clock (I am not sure how accurate this is).
Hope you can give me some guidance. Thank you.
LOST
Dear LOST
Don't be so hard on yourself and your family. Your chart does show some problems with family however you must realize that the grass always appears to be greener on the other side of the fence. In other words this is an obstacle that you can and will overcome. You can learn from the experience you have had. Although you aren't positive what it would be like to have a loving family it isn't hard to know what you consider a loving family to be. Your boyfriend does match up quite nicely to your chart however there is potential for arguing. I do believe that when you love someone and you truly care about him that you will inevitably have disagreements. There is no apparent deception in your comparison only the fact that you will both overreact at times and this has probably resulted in your breakup. Please call him and try to work out your differences. You said that his family is kind and good to you, therefore you have a base to learn from. If you follow what has worked for them it will work for you as well.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
Where to start. First of all I guess that I should tell you that I met my husband and I have been with my husband for 20 years. Married for 17. Beautiful children. I have been very unhappy for a longtime. My husband is verbally, mentally, and worst of all physically abusive. I live everyday in fear, and am always trying to make everything happy and peaceful. I am always living planning the next step of the day out to make sure that it is going to make him happy. I am the bread winner in the family, I have to take care of all of the other responsibilities to, cooking, cleaning, bills, children, laundry, and even making his phone calls for his job etc for him. I should mention that he does work as well, but that is his only responsibility. I feel like an awful person for what I am about to tell you, but I have gotten to the point of being desperate for an answer. About 9 years ago, I met our now best friend. He has always been so nice to me. He is a very patient kind person. He is also in a relationship (not married, but do live together) and has wonderful children. His partner is a very angry person and yells constantly at her children it is so sad. I am very close with his children and love them very much. I have always had feelings for him, however never had said anything. We have always sat up and talked for hours on end when he has come over. About 2 1/2 years ago we were sitting and talking and it came out that we both had feelings for each other. I have never been so shocked, I never would have guessed. He told me at the time that he didn't know what to do, as he couldn't imagine waking up and not being in the same house as his children, that they were his life, and I think that is wonderful. We seem to go in spurts of calling each other, and then periods of not calling each other. However, neither one of us seem to be able to talk about our feelings. We have kissed, and it has been truly wonderful. But I do feel very guilty. I cannot stop thinking about him, I think of him when I wake up, through the day, when I go to bed. It's driving me crazy. I wonder if you can tell me what he is thinking. What he feels for me? My birthday is October 9, 1971, his is April 18, 1977, and my husband's is September 7, 1970. If you could please offer me any insight I would be truly grateful.
Libra
Dear Libra
First of all I want to deal with your relationship with your husband. You don't have one, nor do you need him in your life. You are only teaching your children that it is okay for a man to be abusive to a woman and that in it self is wrong and should have been enough for you to move on with your kids long ago.
It appears to me the only reason you are considering doing so now is because you have someone else in your life but that is not the way to start off a good relationship. I understand why you are attracted to your friend but the comparison although superior to the one with your husband it still isn't great. It is apparent that the connection with your friend is Karmic and I believe his debt is to help you remove yourself and your children from the miserable situation you have put up with for too long however after that it will be time for you to move on and start over.
You do not need your husband so cut your losses and get on with your life. You've already wasted too much time and the damage that the kids have endured watching you being abused are probably insurmountable at this point.
Your chart indicates that you probably should have made your move last year but it's still not too late if you take action immediately. As for your love life - it will pick up during the second half of this year once you have rid yourself of the dead weight you've been living with for so many years. What were you thinking when you married this man - it is seldom I see two people stay together as long as the two of you have when you
Dear Eugenia,
I am in deep conflict over my relationship right now, and I would like to know if my chart can give me any insight into the feelings that I have right now, a course of action or whether this is just a temporary time of confusion.I have been in a relationship for over seven years. However, two years ago, about the time I turned 30, things seemed to change between us. I feel a restless desire to move on, that we are better off as friends than as partners, and that my relationship with him was a mistake. To complicate things, I cannot forget a past relationship (the person is not currently in my life) and the feelings of regret have been getting stronger over the same two years. The past relationship fell apart in late 1990 over a series of misunderstandings.I really don't know what to do. On the one hand, I feel terrible uprooting my partner's life. On the other hand, I just can't seem to give him what he needs in terms of love. While the past relationship was difficult, there was a passion and connection there that I miss intensely. It is getting to the point where both of us are unhappy due to my moodiness. I don't expect the person from the past to come back into my life, but I sometimes wonder if I would be better off alone than causing such turmoil.
My birth information is 8/21/69 3:30am, my current partners information is 12/10/69, and the past partners information is 10/21/66 (I don't know their birth times). Can you help?
Stay or Go
Dear Stay or Go
The relationship that you are currently in does compare more like a friendship or brother sister relationship and it probably is time to move on. I don't believe that this will be easy for you due to the friends and family connections that you have made over the past seven years. Next year you will be coming into a period that is great for both new romantic connections as well as hooking up with people from your past. My biggest concern however is that you will end up spending time with someone who may still be involved with someone else. If you can avoid this type of scenario I believe that you can find happiness and comfort with someone new. What you have been through is your Saturn return and that was the reason you reevaluated your life up until this point and have come to the conclusion that you are probably living a lie. Most people consider this a turning point in life. You now have a choice to make and it won't be all that easy. Do you stay or do you leave. I believe that you need to make the move even though it will be difficult. I also feel however that if done the right way you may be able to salvage some of what you've got. Communication, although not always easy to get a Sagittarius to talk about issues, is where you must start. If you can discover your relationship as being a friendship only you may be able to move on and yet stay in touch. There is never any harm in trying. If that's not the case get moving anyway. After all you do want to be free when your romantic opportunities start happening next year. By the way your comparison with the Libra from your past was quite good. You probably just met at the wrong time. I believe that when you are in your high romantic cycle that he will be in a cycle that is good for him mentally but not romantically or physically. Perhaps he will be in another relationship. If this is the case you are best to back off for the time being. There is a chance that the right time to get together with him will never occur however that is hard to tell without his actual birth time.
Eugenia
