We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
My boyfriend of 3yrs (have been friends for 18yrs) has a sexual hang-up. He needs pictures, from magazines, from mail-order videos xxxrated)and watches mpegs on x-rated web sites. But we never seem to have sex! He never wants to touch me. I have asked him if he is still attracted to me he of course said "Yes!!!" He, however, does not know just how much I know! I was cleaning our bed room one day and found videos for the camcorder under his dresser, I of course thinking they're just home videos, put them in the VCR, much to my surprise, they were of 2 of my neighbors!!! Not knowing they were being filmed. Also of my boyfriend pleasuring himself. I did ask him discreetly so as not to get caught, if he would ever or did he ever sleep with Miss. R. He said that it was gross of me to even ask him that and he was never nor could he ever be attracted to Miss. R. I don't know what to do since his little secret does affect our sex life. If I tell him all that I know, all his reply would be "what are you doing going through my things for?" His birthday is October 26,1961 @ 8:19 a.m. and mine is October 17, 1961, at 3:01 AM. Please help if you can!!!!
Sex Starved
Dear Sex Starved
Wow, quite the dilemma. One of the things that stood out loud and clear in your comparison was that his natal Venus really didn't hook up to your chart. That is usually an indication that problems can develop. However, the fact that he does have his natal Moon adversely aspected to his natal Pluto can result in problems that stem from his relationship with females (mother, sister and so on) when he was growing up. He does have his natal Moon aspecting his natal Venus in a favorable way so we know that he does like to have sex. He also has his natal Sun, Mars and Neptune in Scorpio (rules the sexual organs) in an area of his chart that deals with secrets so I'm not surprised that he has kept his fetishes out of sight. I must tell you however that many men and women enjoy looking at pictures, etc., that part isn't uncommon but to not want to have sex with you or touch you is a problem. If you really want to try to make this relationship work at a physical level, open and honest communication regarding one another's sexual likes and dislikes will have to be addressed. Your chart indicates that you have a healthy sexual appetite, therefore I suggest that you will have to begin by making suggestions or buying items that will turn him on. Read him a sexy short story out of an ex-rated magazine when you go to bed or show interest in watching some soft porn videos together. In order to get to the root of his needs and desires you will have to enter his private world. Give it a shot, after all I know that you're attracted to him by the way your natal Venus hooks up to his chart. Be creative in the bedroom and don't be afraid to have a little fun with the one you love.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
Where to start. First of all I guess that I should tell you that I met my husband and I have been with my husband for 20 years. Married for 17. Beautiful children. I have been very unhappy for a longtime. My husband is verbally, mentally, and worst of all physically abusive. I live everyday in fear, and am always trying to make everything happy and peaceful. I am always living planning the next step of the day out to make sure that it is going to make him happy. I am the bread winner in the family, I have to take care of all of the other responsibilities to, cooking, cleaning, bills, children, laundry, and even making his phone calls for his job etc for him. I should mention that he does work as well, but that is his only responsibility. I feel like an awful person for what I am about to tell you, but I have gotten to the point of being desperate for an answer. About 9 years ago, I met our now best friend. He has always been so nice to me. He is a very patient kind person. He is also in a relationship (not married, but do live together) and has wonderful children. His partner is a very angry person and yells constantly at her children it is so sad. I am very close with his children and love them very much. I have always had feelings for him, however never had said anything. We have always sat up and talked for hours on end when he has come over. About 2 1/2 years ago we were sitting and talking and it came out that we both had feelings for each other. I have never been so shocked, I never would have guessed. He told me at the time that he didn't know what to do, as he couldn't imagine waking up and not being in the same house as his children, that they were his life, and I think that is wonderful. We seem to go in spurts of calling each other, and then periods of not calling each other. However, neither one of us seem to be able to talk about our feelings. We have kissed, and it has been truly wonderful. But I do feel very guilty. I cannot stop thinking about him, I think of him when I wake up, through the day, when I go to bed. It's driving me crazy. I wonder if you can tell me what he is thinking. What he feels for me? My birthday is October 9, 1971, his is April 18, 1977, and my husband's is September 7, 1970. If you could please offer me any insight I would be truly grateful.
Libra
Dear Libra
First of all I want to deal with your relationship with your husband. You don't have one, nor do you need him in your life. You are only teaching your children that it is okay for a man to be abusive to a woman and that in it self is wrong and should have been enough for you to move on with your kids long ago.
It appears to me the only reason you are considering doing so now is because you have someone else in your life but that is not the way to start off a good relationship. I understand why you are attracted to your friend but the comparison although superior to the one with your husband it still isn't great. It is apparent that the connection with your friend is Karmic and I believe his debt is to help you remove yourself and your children from the miserable situation you have put up with for too long however after that it will be time for you to move on and start over.
You do not need your husband so cut your losses and get on with your life. You've already wasted too much time and the damage that the kids have endured watching you being abused are probably insurmountable at this point.
Your chart indicates that you probably should have made your move last year but it's still not too late if you take action immediately. As for your love life - it will pick up during the second half of this year once you have rid yourself of the dead weight you've been living with for so many years. What were you thinking when you married this man - it is seldom I see two people stay together as long as the two of you have when you
Dear Eugenia,
This is the first time that I read you letters to the members who have troubles. I am now facing a question and wish you could advise me how to make my choice.
I broke up with my first boyfriend about two months ago. Soon after, I knew a guy (Paul) from the internet. He told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend after we talked over the phone for the first time. I knew that he has just broken up with his girl friend. I didn't believe in him.
It has been one month now. We have never seen each other, but I found that I do like him. I feel that he cares and supports me, but I am afraid that we haven't built up any foundation in this relationship. I told him that I didn't want to fall in love so soon. And he said he would wait for me.
I met an ex-colleague Sam today. We knew each other when I took up a temporary job. He had a first sight love feeling towards me in the past, but I was shy to accept him. (I am not a confident girl.) After I finished my temporary job, we both went back to school and did not contact each other any more. Three months later, he called me saying that he loved me. I didn't give him a definite answer although I gradually felt that I also liked him. After a while, he didn't call me but I always think of him. I met him again today and told him that I would call him. I prepared to tell him all my feelings.
On the other hand, Paul moves me. I feel that Paul treats me better than Sam, but I have no confidence in someone known from the internet. I am afraid that I will make a wrong choice. Eugenia, can you tell me who suits me better?
Here are their birth information: Paul: January 10, 1981 about 1am, Sam: March 4, 1983 (don't know his birth time), myself June 5, 1983, at 1:55 AM
Best regards.
Can't decide
Dear Can't decide
There is no contest; you match up much better to Paul. The only problem with your relationship with him is that there is some emotional deception regarding involvements with other people. In other words one or both of you may also have someone else that you are talking to. As in your case it would be Sam. I think that you should safely meet with Paul. Take a friend along or make arrangements to meet for tea somewhere that you feel comfortable. I don't believe that you have anything to fear but it's always good to be on the safe side. As for Sam well the comparison wasn't that great. I believe that you are attracted to one another but you don't appear to have as much in common as you and Paul. You will be in a high cycle regarding love and romance for the next twelve months so don't be too quick to get into a serious relationship. You will have plenty of opportunities to meet potential partners. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Gemini, Libra, Capricorn and Aquarius.
Eugenia
