We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle.  Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?

This service is no longer available.

I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.

For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.

I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.

The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:

Article: Secretly Sex Starved

Dear Eugenia

My boyfriend of 3yrs (have been friends for 18yrs) has a sexual hang-up. He needs pictures, from magazines, from mail-order videos xxxrated)and watches mpegs on x-rated web sites. But we never seem to have sex! He never wants to touch me. I have asked him if he is still attracted to me he of course said "Yes!!!" He, however, does not know just how much I know! I was cleaning our bed room one day and found videos for the camcorder under his dresser, I of course thinking they're just home videos, put them in the VCR, much to my surprise, they were of 2 of my neighbors!!! Not knowing they were being filmed. Also of my boyfriend pleasuring himself. I did ask him discreetly so as not to get caught, if he would ever or did he ever sleep with Miss. R. He said that it was gross of me to even ask him that and he was never nor could he ever be attracted to Miss. R. I don't know what to do since his little secret does affect our sex life. If I tell him all that I know, all his reply would be "what are you doing going through my things for?" His birthday is October 26,1961 @ 8:19 a.m. and mine is October 17, 1961, at 3:01 AM. Please help if you can!!!!

Sex Starved

---

Dear Sex Starved

Wow, quite the dilemma. One of the things that stood out loud and clear in your comparison was that his natal Venus really didn't hook up to your chart. That is usually an indication that problems can develop. However, the fact that he does have his natal Moon adversely aspected to his natal Pluto can result in problems that stem from his relationship with females (mother, sister and so on) when he was growing up. He does have his natal Moon aspecting his natal Venus in a favorable way so we know that he does like to have sex. He also has his natal Sun, Mars and Neptune in Scorpio (rules the sexual organs) in an area of his chart that deals with secrets so I'm not surprised that he has kept his fetishes out of sight. I must tell you however that many men and women enjoy looking at pictures, etc., that part isn't uncommon but to not want to have sex with you or touch you is a problem. If you really want to try to make this relationship work at a physical level, open and honest communication regarding one another's sexual likes and dislikes will have to be addressed. Your chart indicates that you have a healthy sexual appetite, therefore I suggest that you will have to begin by making suggestions or buying items that will turn him on. Read him a sexy short story out of an ex-rated magazine when you go to bed or show interest in watching some soft porn videos together. In order to get to the root of his needs and desires you will have to enter his private world. Give it a shot, after all I know that you're attracted to him by the way your natal Venus hooks up to his chart. Be creative in the bedroom and don't be afraid to have a little fun with the one you love.

Eugenia

---

Article: Beware of Scorpio

Dear Eugenia,

I am at a standstill in my life. For 2 1/2 years I dated a man born 10/3/60 10:30AM. He and I grew up in the same community and town. We had not seen each other in 15 years and were "fixed up" by mutual friends. The relationship had gone through many ups and downs, at times splitting for weeks and months at a time. I recently completed my M Ed. and needed to stay focused on my goals. He has been a toll collector for 18 years and has a 16-year-old son from a previous relationship that left him raising a son alone and with really crappy hours, the kid is both spoiled and neglected. I have tried nearly everything possible to stay with him, but once I was able to commit to the relationship, his inability to make decisions and be more conscientious of money and time began to widdle away at our relationship. I loved and still love him. In the last year we have lost a child, he has cheated on me twice, and basically lost sight of what was once a strong and vibrant respect for one another. I caught him both times and his wealthy family thinks that he is weak, and that I am too good for him and a tad bit too controlling. We dreamed of many things together. I helped him find and fix up his dream home. Prior to his cheating we were planning a family and life together. I know that I have difficulty letting go in a relationship and wonder if I will ever find someone with whom to spend my life. I thought he was my soul mate. I thought the balance of his laid back approach to life and my ability to solve problems and make things happen would culminate into marriage. We are both seeing other people 3 months after the split and recently were drawn together by finances and we ended up making love. I am confused and tormented by what could have but can never be. We often said that if he didn't have his son we would already have been married. He is the kind of man that can't be left alone, and I refused to live with him until he got a grip of his son's law breaking/disrespectful behavior (I have a 9 year old) before living together and being a family. We have had quite a dramatic relationship. The disrespect was making me miserable. Do you think he could my soul mate? Am I foolish to believe he could ever evolve into a stronger man and be happy with a good woman like me? I can't believe I still want him after everything we have been through. My head says run, but my heart says "maybe someday" My DOB is 9/11/61 at 11:59 PM. Will I ever find a soul mate, and does he exist? I am dating, but unable to find anyone who makes me feel hope.

An empty - Gypsyheart

---

Dear Gypsyheart

I think you should focus your time and energy on your son, your own home, travel, self-improvement and socializing. You have latched on to a man who has no backbone and although he probably is an attractive package due to his family prominence you are best not to waste any more time on the prospect of spending the rest of your life with him. Your comparison indicates that this man will bring you sorrow. The past three years this mans chart has experienced all sorts of uncertainties and weaknesses that have resulted in his sons need to do whatever it takes to get some attention. This man is not likely to get his act together in the near future therefore you should get on with your life and forget about what might have been. Your comparison with him was not that great and I know that you can do much better. You do not need a weak man but instead one strong enough to balance your need to control. Although the sign Scorpio is definitely a sign that draws you, this particular Scorpio is not the one. You also match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Taurus and Gemini. You should always run a comparison through our compatibility service before you let someone new capture your heart. Your chart indicates that if you get out and do things that you enjoy over the course of th

---

Article: From Libra

Dear Eugenia

Where to start. First of all I guess that I should tell you that I met my husband and I have been with my husband for 20 years. Married for 17. Beautiful children. I have been very unhappy for a longtime. My husband is verbally, mentally, and worst of all physically abusive. I live everyday in fear, and am always trying to make everything happy and peaceful. I am always living planning the next step of the day out to make sure that it is going to make him happy. I am the bread winner in the family, I have to take care of all of the other responsibilities to, cooking, cleaning, bills, children, laundry, and even making his phone calls for his job etc for him. I should mention that he does work as well, but that is his only responsibility. I feel like an awful person for what I am about to tell you, but I have gotten to the point of being desperate for an answer. About 9 years ago, I met our now best friend. He has always been so nice to me. He is a very patient kind person. He is also in a relationship (not married, but do live together) and has wonderful children. His partner is a very angry person and yells constantly at her children it is so sad. I am very close with his children and love them very much. I have always had feelings for him, however never had said anything. We have always sat up and talked for hours on end when he has come over. About 2 1/2 years ago we were sitting and talking and it came out that we both had feelings for each other. I have never been so shocked, I never would have guessed. He told me at the time that he didn't know what to do, as he couldn't imagine waking up and not being in the same house as his children, that they were his life, and I think that is wonderful. We seem to go in spurts of calling each other, and then periods of not calling each other. However, neither one of us seem to be able to talk about our feelings. We have kissed, and it has been truly wonderful. But I do feel very guilty. I cannot stop thinking about him, I think of him when I wake up, through the day, when I go to bed. It's driving me crazy. I wonder if you can tell me what he is thinking. What he feels for me? My birthday is October 9, 1971, his is April 18, 1977, and my husband's is September 7, 1970. If you could please offer me any insight I would be truly grateful.

Libra

---

Dear Libra

First of all I want to deal with your relationship with your husband. You don't have one, nor do you need him in your life. You are only teaching your children that it is okay for a man to be abusive to a woman and that in it self is wrong and should have been enough for you to move on with your kids long ago.

It appears to me the only reason you are considering doing so now is because you have someone else in your life but that is not the way to start off a good relationship. I understand why you are attracted to your friend but the comparison although superior to the one with your husband it still isn't great. It is apparent that the connection with your friend is Karmic and I believe his debt is to help you remove yourself and your children from the miserable situation you have put up with for too long however after that it will be time for you to move on and start over.

You do not need your husband so cut your losses and get on with your life. You've already wasted too much time and the damage that the kids have endured watching you being abused are probably insurmountable at this point.

Your chart indicates that you probably should have made your move last year but it's still not too late if you take action immediately. As for your love life - it will pick up during the second half of this year once you have rid yourself of the dead weight you've been living with for so many years. What were you thinking when you married this man - it is seldom I see two people stay together as long as the two of you have when you

---