We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi Eugenia
AAAARRGG! Not another relationship question?!
I've written a few times without receiving a reply but persist out of dire need. I'm at my wit's end about what to do.I am in the 20th year of marriage to a man I wonder if I ever truly loved. We have three children. Over the past 5 or 6 years, I feel I have changed a great deal. I no longer want the same things, nor am I happy to settle for a mediocre relationship "for the sake of the children". I know I should listen to my heart and question my mind but I feel like I've turned it over and over until I can't seem to decide. Am I destined to go through life biding my time or am I waiting for the time to be right? I sometimes feel like I don't know anything anymore and am just letting life drag me along. What do the stars say? My birthday is March 28, 1961. My husband's is October 17, 1945.
Signed,
Need to Know
Need to Know,
I understand your dilemma, however there are a lot of variables involved in your case. You didn't mention how old your children are, therefore it is hard to know what your responsibilities at this time are. Your comparison with your Libra husband is mediocre. I do believe that at one time you did have a passionate connection but that was long ago. I feel that you have both been very limiting for one another and that maybe the best thing to do is to discuss your options. Your husband does have his natal Sun squaring his natal Mars and this can cause him to have a temper if it falls in a certain area of his chart however without his time of birth I can't tell how this aspect will manifest itself. If he hasn't shown this trait I believe that you should be able to make some decisions as a couple that will allow you both greater freedom to come and go as you please or to actually get on with your lives. The children however should be your first concern, so whatever is best for them at this time is the bottom line.
EugeniaDear Eugenia,
I have read some of your responses to the letters posted in your new advice feature, and I'm impressed with your knowledgeable and common sense advice. I am wondering if you can help me, as well. I am a professional Leo woman, who was born on July 25, 1962, 11:46pm. I have recently moved back to my home state for two reasons: I have just gotten a great job with a software company here and I am also looking for a fresh new start as I have just gotten a divorce from my ex-husband, born August 25, 1953, 5:55am. My marriage was never really great to begin with, but had gotten especially bad during the last two years, as my ex-husband became increasingly more and more verbally and mentally abusive. I left him when he started becoming physically abusive towards me and threatened my life. After I left him, I spent the next year and a half-alone trying to re-build my life and heal from my emotional wounds. I realized through therapy and self-examination that most of my relationships with men in the past have been emotionally destructive. Now that I am getting settled in my new home and job and am starting to feel better about myself, I want to start dating again. Just recently I've met a nice man through a friend and he and I just started seeing each other. He and I seem to get along well and have a lot in common; also my friend tells me that he is a genuinely nice guy. What worries me is that this man is a Virgo, like my ex-husband. I've noticed in my self-analysis that although I'm a Leo, most of my long-lasting relationships have been with Virgo men. This new man's birth data is Sept. 20, 1960 (birth time unknown). Is this new relationship destined to become destructive and emotionally unfulfilling like my marriage and past relationships were, or can I finally let the past go and look forward to new love, new life, and much better things in my future?
Wounded yet Hopeful Lioness
Dear Wounded yet Hopeful Lioness
A person's chart is as individualistic as a finger print. Your ex husband is really quite different from your new man and so is your comparison with both. You really matched up very poorly to your ex and I'm not surprised that it didn't last. Your ex only has his natal Sun in the sign Virgo and the rest of the planets in his chart are spread out between the signs Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra and Pisces. Your new man on the other hand has his natal Sun, Moon and Pluto in the sign Virgo with some planets falling in the signs Gemini, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn. Your chart indicates that you do have a problem where relationships are concerned and that you are prone to picking poorly or for the wrong reason. You do match up far better to your new Virgo and I do believe that you can enjoy an honest and open relationship with him. You will be in an exceptionally high cycle for love during the later half of next year and the first half of the year 2002. This can mean that this relationship will develop into something very strong or you will meet someone new who will capture your heart. Please get a comparison done if you do decide to date someone new to ensure that you aren't picking the wrong partner.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
