We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
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The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
The year 2000 came with fireworks, just not the fireworks I was expecting. After 5 years in a relationship with the same man, two and half of which we were married, he indicated January 2,2000 that he was not sure if he was "in love" with me. This was perhaps not a surprise to me, as we had been having conflicts over the last year due to my attending grad school and we had attended counseling, per my request. After much debating, I decided to leave our house on Jan 8, 2000 and allow him some "time to think." It was during that time that I found out that there was another woman with whom he was involved. I have always been very naive, too naive I suppose! He was my first boyfriend and, therefore, my only experience. Since my discovery, I have endured many unpleasant moments, which I would rather not retell. A month after we were separated, I decided that I could not continue with a relationship which was based on a lie, and so I filed for divorce. And so here I stand, filled with anger and pain. Feeling guilty as perhaps the reason why he ended up involving himself with someone else was my fault or my dedication to my career...I don't know whether that is a question that you may be able to answer, but, for my own peace I would like to know. I was born April 4, 1975, at 8:15 a.m. sun sign: Aries; rising sign: Taurus/ He was born November 3, 1971 (unfortunately, don't know what time).
Thank you...
Standing Alone
Dear Standing Alone
Your comparison indicates that you are well suited to one another in most ways. There is however two things that would cause problems in your relationship. The first being deception and the second being an element of anger that appears to be present regarding position and status in society. He may have felt some insecurity regarding your direction professionally, however that is no excuse for him to be with someone else. Especially while you were still together. He should have talked to you about the way he felt long before the situation got out of hand. I doubt however that it would have made much of a difference in the outcome because I feel strongly that your educational pursuits are very important to you, and so they should be. He is approaching his Saturn return and this is making him re-evaluate his past as well as pushing him to make the changes necessary to move forward in a way that he sees most suitable. Unfortunately even if he does want to make amends I feel that you are best to move forward yourself. You should be continuing your studies and pushing to be the best that you can be. There will be other partners in the future who will treat you properly so don't feel so alone. Focus on your educational pursuits because that is what you should be doing right now and when the time is right the white knight will rock your world. You do match up well to the sign Scorpio so don't rule out getting involved with another one.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Dear Eugenia,
I wrote to you years ago, when I was in a very serious relationship, which you predicted, would come to an end due to our young age, but you added that I would be lucky in love again. You were right, my boyfriend (14/02/1974) and I (07/08/1973, at 7:20 am) were in love at 17. He was a fantastic person who truly cared for me. But at 21, I decided I needed time to explore my life. And so, I finished college (PR) and wanted to travel. Before my boyfriend and I officially split, I had an encounter with a mature man (03/10/1950?) who would leave a profound impression on me. This Libra happened to be my manager. He had a huge crush on me, but he never did anything to breakup his marriage or anything. Yet, he made such an impact in my life because of his sophisticated Libra ways--plus, he showered me with compliments. Nevertheless, my boyfriend and I broke up and I got on the plane for my European adventure, after innocently kissing the boss farewell. When I returned, I contacted my old boss for a reference and job leads. He was very helpful and a joy to talk to. I managed to get myself a great job and ended up doing creative work--which he always inspired me to do. With 19 months of work in my portfolio, I was eager to see my old manager to show him what I've done with my life. He wouldn't meet me, even for a lunch. Knowing that he was still married (I was single), I didn't press him. Nearly eight years later, I was now married to (24/06/1971). Life added another twist, bringing me back to the "old" neighborhood where my manager and I worked. On a lunch break from a day seminar, I ate in our old spot. Feeling nostalgic, I couldn't help writing a thank you note to my mentor, as the course I was on that day continued the career path he had set me on. Spontaneously, I scribbled a letter on napkins. I stuck it into my purse and forgot about it for almost a year. Spring-cleaning had me clearing out my closet and... well, I just had to find my old boss and I did, and I was sure he'd be over the middle-age crisis crush and meet me for a coffee. No! He still had feelings for me, saying he would have to sit on his hands--he was still attracted to me. I laughed it off and retorted: "you're such a flirt". Settling for e-mailing, we ended up in constant cravings for e-contact. Our conversations flowed naturally. He told me he was separated. I felt I had to see him. I did. I hugged him for an eternity and suddenly we shared a kiss. I was thrilled to see him--and felt wonderful to have him back in my life. I value his opinions and cherish industry information and valuable support he gives me. Problem: I had no idea I had feelings for him also. I soon found myself day dreaming about him. We meet a few times after, and each time our emotions got the better of us (nothing beyond hugging, kissing). I told him I was very much in love with my husband and he said he couldn't resolve his feelings for me, and decided for both our interests to ignore me--we both disagreed to an affair. I agreed and months later, I miss him sooooooooooo much.!
I'm in love with my husband, but I need to know how my manager is doing? is he happy?, how's he managing with life, career, love, and family?--he's got his kids and he's such a great dad. Will we ever see each other again? Can we get over this "puppy love" and continue to love and cherish each other in a platonic relationship?
Leo
Dear Leo
I can see why you are in such a state. First of all you continue to match up the best to your boyfriend from way back when (Feb. 14/74), and there is nothing wrong with that. You were both too young and had too much life to live before settling down however even though you did manage to get out and do your own thing you somehow got caught in a whirlwind romance with your manager and even though it was platonic, in mind it definitely was not. You match up to both your husband and
