We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am not sure if you will answer this question, but I will try anyway. I was born February 24, 1963, at 12:07 PM. I hope this will help you come to a conclusion. I recently lost my loving husband of 35 years of age to liver cancer, we were only married one year and 3 months before his death. At this time, I don't know which way my life is heading; I am lost, and very lonely. I miss him with all my heart; he truly was my soul mate. I was married before for 17 years to a Scorpion, this man is now back in my life. He says that he has changed, some things yes, he has others, no he hasn't. My question is, should I try and make this past relationship with my ex husband work, or move on? We have three wonderful children together, and he has helped me through some of the emotional problems I have had to deal with since my husband's death. I am confused about him, and don't feel the attraction as I once did. Will I ever find that loving man again in this lifetime, that I had with my great loss. My late husband, taught me many things about how a women should be treated, do I need to settle for less? I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I also am worried about my late husbands father. This man lost his only son, and I care about him deeply, will he be ok? He says that I am the only thing he has left in this life, who was a part of his son's life. So, I do feel worried and concerned. As for my late husbands mother, she blames his father and me, for his death. Never did she come to see him in the hospital to the very last few days of his life. I was by his bedside 24-7, I was his nurse and his loving wife, until he took his last breath. So, why is she blaming me? This causes me great heartache also. No one can cause someone to get cancer. I don't understand why I had to loose the only man that I loved so deeply. Your time is greatly appreciated.
Thank you,
Lost Love
Dear Lost Love
You are going through a very confusing period in your life and you need some time and space to sort out your feelings. You don't have to settle for anything or anyone until you are good and ready. I believe that if you ask your ex-husband to be your friend, not your lover that you will feel much better about the connection. As for a new love, you will be in a much better frame of mind and you will also be in a high cycle regarding love and romance next year. You actually match up well to those born under the signs Cancer, Virgo and Capricorn. As for right now you should put your time and effort into travel, learning and your beliefs and opinions regarding your philosophy of life, love and future intentions. You are sensitive and you need to nurture yourself for the time being.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Dear Eugenia
My parents divorced before I went to primary school and then I lived with my father. Since I was small, I was bullied. My mother worked in another city and did not care about me. My father treated me this way because he was remarried and had other children. My mother told me that my grandmother did not treat her well when she was small. This was why she did not know how to show her love to me. I was brought up under this environment and became very lonely. I was afraid to have contact with people. I had a few boyfriends and none of them worked out. I wanted so much my own family but every time I got hurt. With no parents to love, other people looked down on me. When I was at work, it did not turn out okay and I was always faced with many problems. I did not know how to deal with people and felt lost. After so many failures, I've lost my confidence totally. Now I have this boyfriend for over a year. He is a good person but he has a very stubborn character and that I can hardly accept. He always says something to hurt me. He needs someone to take care of him while I also long for someone who can look after me. I doubt if we can be a happy couple but I trust his integrity and like his family who treat me well. Now I just lost my job and had a fight with him.
My mother came back to Shanghai and bought an apartment. Now I am living with her but my mother does not care what I am doing. If you didn't know, you would think I am so lucky with a good apartment and a nice looking face. But in fact I have nothing, no family and no career. My life doesn't have any meaning. Is my life supposed to be this way? Did I do something wrong in my last life?
I was born on October 21, 1972 at around 3:30 am. My boyfriend was born on July 8, 1973 at 5 o'clock (I am not sure how accurate this is).
Hope you can give me some guidance. Thank you.
LOST
Dear LOST
Don't be so hard on yourself and your family. Your chart does show some problems with family however you must realize that the grass always appears to be greener on the other side of the fence. In other words this is an obstacle that you can and will overcome. You can learn from the experience you have had. Although you aren't positive what it would be like to have a loving family it isn't hard to know what you consider a loving family to be. Your boyfriend does match up quite nicely to your chart however there is potential for arguing. I do believe that when you love someone and you truly care about him that you will inevitably have disagreements. There is no apparent deception in your comparison only the fact that you will both overreact at times and this has probably resulted in your breakup. Please call him and try to work out your differences. You said that his family is kind and good to you, therefore you have a base to learn from. If you follow what has worked for them it will work for you as well.
Eugenia
