We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I am a Virgo born on Sept.16, 1970. I been married to a cancer born on July 9,1970. We've been married 3 1/2 years. We were dating for 8 years. Our marriage was going great. But then, I had an affair with a co-worker. I told my husband the truth. He said that he would forgive me and would not leave me. The co-worker is a Virgo like me born on September 14, 1955. He was very good to me. I was feeling lonely and he was also. My husband is military. So, sometimes he is gone. The problem is that my husband says he wants us to work things out, but in the process he gets upset for remembering my affair and starts insulting me a lot. He has never hit me, but once he did because he wanted to know who the guy was. I told him not to hit me and he didn't. He doesn't hurt me physically, but emotionally he does. So, now I am confused. The other guy is married, but his wife filed for divorce. He wants me to also get a divorce and go with him. I just don't know what to do. I am confused! What do you think I should do?
Confused
Dear Confused
I'm not surprised that you are confused. My dear girl, what were you thinking. You have such a good comparison with your husband except for the fact that deception and sorrow due to secret affairs could very well ruin this connection. Your husband is a proud man and it will be difficult for him to forgive you completely. The fact that he has his natal Mercury in the sign Cancer indicates that he will never be able to forget what you have done to him and to your marriage. As for your lover, well you didn't really match up very well. Emotional deception and disillusionment are evident. You have to make some quick decisions in order to get your life back on course. If you think you can salvage your marriage by all means do so, get counseling or whatever it takes. If you decide that it's too late and you must move on do so but not by moving from one hot bed to another. You need to give yourself time to discover who you are and what you really want. I do not believe that you really want your secret lover. I feel that you were attracted to him due to a void you were feeling. Your husband might not have been spending enough time with you or perhaps neither one of you worked hard enough to make your marriage work. A good marriage doesn't just happen. It takes plenty of patience, understanding and hard work on the part of both parties. Divorce does look like the direction you are heading. Whether you stay or leave you will be experiencing emotional difficulties due to the poor choices that you have made in the past.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have written to you a few times before with no answer. I realize you are VERY busy, but please, I desperately need help! My B.T. is 4/9/69 9:31 pm.
Life has been pretty awful since 2000. I've been in love with a married man ever since then -though I've stayed away- but the feelings barely fade between us. He is a fellow Aires 4/19/66 -sorry I have no birth time for him. My mother-9/16/45 had a heart attack in 2000, a source of much grief for me though she is fine now. I lost my job unfairly and was harassed relentlessly at said job in 2000. I was sexually harassed in 2001 at a new job and subsequently left. Then 9/11 happened which was truly the worst. I started another relationship in late 2001 -with a Virgo man- that came to nothing. I've lost quite a few friends in the last year or so, some that I really needed to be rid of but still I wonder why other people have smooth easy friendships that flow well and last forever. I've been unemployed now for over a year and I don't see things getting better. I just turned 34 and I see no upward trend for the future. I can't seem to find my calling in life in any area. The things I want most constantly elude me (Close relationships with family, a partner to walk through life with, beautiful children, a career I love, close friendships, the lifestyle I dream of). What am I doing wrong? Clearly I have lost my way in the universe somehow and I really need some answers. I want to find my soul mate, have kids, do well in business, and have a full, loving, hectic life. Please help me and see what guidance the stars have for me. Thanks so much for your help and your time.
LISA
Hi Lisa
Maybe you should be getting together with the Pisces in my first readers email this week. He is going through similar problems. In your case you have had some rough transits moving through an area that deals with work and friendships and although this is coming to an end it isn't quite over yet. Your predicament regarding your job will change but I must admit it is much better beginning in the fall so if you are interested in picking up added skills in order to take on a new direction or up your earning potential in the area you are already in now is the time to do so. You have been going through a period of change regarding your friends and although it isn't quite over yet it is not uncommon to rid yourself of the dead weight in your life when this type of transit is present. It isn't a bad thing but it does take a lot out of you. Letting go of the past is usually hard even if you are an Aries. You should be getting out and meeting people. Expanding your circle of friends. Trying your hand at the things you enjoy doing and getting involved in something physical that will help you get back on track and use up added energy. With transiting Saturn passing through your eighth house over the next couple of years you are probably not out of the woods with regard to the well being of older family members or the responsibilities that these matters entail. Prepare to give more time to your mother; she will need you by her side.
Being in love with someone who is married usually puts your life in a tailspin for some time however given the fact that he is a fellow Aries and he falls in an area of your chart that deals with social activity and having fun I can see why you were attracted to him but you really must move on. The actual comparison to him wasn't that good and it did indicate emotional mental and physical torment. Signs that are good for you include late Taurus/early Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aquarius and Pisces. You are in a high cycle regarding love, romance and having fun over the next little while so get out and meet potential new mates. To go back or even consider your married friend will be detrimental.
Eugenia
