We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle.  Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?

This service is no longer available.

I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.

For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.

I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.

The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:

Article: A Marriage Push

Dear Eugenia

I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?

When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...

However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.

At Odds

---

Dear At Odds

I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.

Eugenia

---

Article: From tired yet still hopeful

Dear Eugenia

I had written to you a while back and I totally understand that you are overloaded with emails daily. I will try to keep this brief.

I'm completely tired and fed up with the dating game. Dating has become so difficult even with all the Internet sites to help us out. I find that so many people portray themselves a certain way that's practically "wonderful" for the most part and yet, within days or maybe even a short couple of weeks they show their "true selves". The guy that doesn't call back or doesn't make plans any more. I find it difficult to get past a 1st or 2nd date with many of these guys. I certainly don't think I'm an unattractive woman by any means, but I'm also a big-hearted person with a lot of genuine love. I just don't understand why it's so hard to find someone that I am not only physically attracted to, but emotionally as well. The men that I am attracted to for various reasons (humorous, cute, nice) turn out to be jerks! They show interest initially and then disappear! I'm pretty clear on the type of person that I am and that I am looking for, so I can't imagine these guys thinking I'm "that type of girl".

Eugenia, please shed some light here and tell me. Do you see love in my life SOON?

Last year I wrote to you and you said that I would meet someone in the latter part of 2006. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.

Is there any hope for me yet? When do you think I will meet the right man? I've been alone and have enjoyed it, but it's time to move forward in my life. I do hope to be married one day and have a family. (Whether biological children or adopted).

My DOB is 19/01/70 at 1 am.

Signed,
Tired yet still hopeful

---

Dear tired yet still hopeful

Yes indeed you did go through a very fast but short-lived love cycle late last year and you probably met a few people but nothing stuck. It wasn't the strongest transit but none the less one that had potential to lead to romance. It falls in an area of your chart that deals with meeting people through friends, neighbors, and relatives as well as by getting involved in activities with groups or pursuing interests you enjoy. Like taking a course or going on a singles cruise. Although the Internet can be included as a way to meet partners it certainly shouldn't be your first choice. Internet dating can work for some but so many people abuse this service by using it as a dating game instead of being serious. Lots of unhappy married people sit for countless hours connecting with people on internet dating sites because they are lonely in the relationship they are in. Not having to be face to face with someone they can lie, cheat and live in whatever dream world they want to create. This is hurtful to the honest individual who is truly looking for a long-term connection. It is far better to get involved in activities you enjoy so that you meet someone who has similar interests. This way you get to build the friendship first and let love take its course naturally instead of the fast paced internet dating scene that has taken the planet by storm. I tend to think a lot of people consider Internet dating as virtual dating - not real - just play.

Back to your chart - there is no reason why you can't find love. Your natal Venus is nicely positioned in your chart however I do believe that with your natal Saturn being in an area of your chart that deals with relationships that you are prone to marrying later in life rather than earlier and that you are also conservative and quite picky when it comes to a partner and there is nothing wrong with that. Probably even more so why you don't belong in the Internet dating game but will do much better using old fashioned methods to find love.

Although this year isn't bad for love you also have to be careful which partner you pick and that whoever you choose doesn't cost you financially

---

Article: From Virgo

Dear Eugenia,

I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.

Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?

Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.

Virgo

---

Dear Virgo

The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be

---