We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I have become a member of your web site since Feb. this year. I really appreciate your web site. It helps me answer many of my questions.Now, I am facing a very difficult situation with my husband. We had been dating for almost 4 years before we got married. During dating, I discovered that he had not been faithful to me. But we still got married later on.We got married Feb. 2000 and shortly after, I got a job offer far away from where we live, so I had to move. My husband and I try to meet each other every weekend, either he comes to visit me or I go back home. We have been doing this since Feb. Recently, I feel myself not trusting my husband. I always feel that he is not honest with me or that he doesn't care about me, love me. This feeling is driving me crazy and of course makes me angry a lot too. I am really not sure about our marriage. I am not sure whether we can keep this marriage together or not. I have tried everything. I could not communicate with him, but, a lot of time, I feel that he is just trying to cover up and not really telling me the truth! Please reply to my question and give me guidance on what can I do to save my marriage?? Thank you very much for your help! I was born in July 30, 1970 sometime around 2:00 am. My husband was born in Dec. 13, 1965.
Confuse and sad
Dear Confuse and sad
The comparison with your husband wasn't bad however it did show signs of emotional and mental dishonesty. This could be based on several different reasons. He could be afraid of the reaction that he gets from you when you are suspicious. Your chart also indicates that you can be just as evasive or dishonest with him regarding some matters. You say that you can't communicate and unfortunately that is what it will take in order to get past all this confusion. You must sit down and talk about your needs, desires and future intentions before you can move forward. This relationship can work but it will take an effort on both your part and his. His chart does show that he can be charming as well as a bit of a flirt, but that doesn't mean that he will follow through. Right now he does have transiting Neptune sitting on his natal Venus and that can cause sorrow for him along with escapism, indulgence and yes even poor choices regarding love and romance. If he is lonely he may seek comfort with someone who is closer to home during this period but if he is a creative person he may also put this energy into artsy projects. Most important is that you sit down and communicate openly and honestly if you really want your relationship to withstand the distance between you. Your chart indicates that making a move back home or having him come to live with you permanently is a possibility in the fall. If you really love one another I would suggest that you strive to make this happen.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I was born Nov. 10 1971 at 6:18pm. My husband born Nov. 1 1960 at 8 am. Our son born Oct. 26 1996 at 3:12 am. 3 Scorps under one roof! I met my husband at 17 and have been with him since. We have been married for 6 yrs. I have gone through many changes in the past few yrs. I believe my Saturn in return at this time. I am questioning my relationship and feel unfulfilled. However I have built a life with this man and we are raising our son together. I am older now and more aware of what I need in a relationship. I honestly feel if I had met my husband now, I would have not wanted to start a relationship with him. We have gone through many tough times and I do care about him. We make an excellent team at times but we disagree a lot and it ends up being a heated debate. From how we should raise our son and our personal goals. My husband has problems with chemical abuse. He quit drinking at the beginning of our relationship but never gave up smoking pot. At times I feel pulled down by him and do things I feel are no good for me. I am completely faithful to my husband but feel guilt by the strong attraction I have to other men. I have been getting crushes, and I feel uncertain regarding my marriage. My cynical scorpion side takes over and I find myself picking my husband apart. He tends to exaggerate stories and embarrasses me when we go out on occasion. By offending someone with being physically crude or saying an off color joke etc. We have built a life together and financially we would have to sell our home if we broke up. He is a good father and my son adores him. I feel like I would mess up everyone's life if I chose to end the marriage. I work with a man and there has been an instant attraction from day one. His birthday is July 10 1974. This guy has a live-in girlfriend. I feel something very intense when I am around him and it seems like it is a mutual feeling. I do not intend to pursue anything outside my marriage, however the changes in me are causing me to reevaluate my life. I would like it if you could tell me what the charts say with the birth data I have given you.
Best Regards,
Confused Scorpio
Dear Confused Scorpio
Your comparison with your husband was lacking but workable. I never really mind same sign relationships however in your case although you were born under the sign Scorpio you have Mercury, Venus, Jupiter and Neptune in Sagittarius, Uranus and Pluto in Libra, Moon in Virgo, Mars in Pisces and Saturn in Gemini with Gemini rising. Now that doesn't make for a very strong Scorpio. With transiting Saturn sitting on your natal Saturn you are going through your Saturn return and this can cause you to reevaluate your life up to this point. It is a turning point that can be depressing, insightful and hurtful. You can either make the necessary changes that will in turn make your life better or you can settle and leave things the way they are. If you are going to leave your husband I believe that it will be over the course of the next year. However, do not leave him for your Cancer attraction. This man does match up to you but the sign of sorrow is present and it isn't likely that this relationship will be lasting even if you do get it off the ground. I believe that your attraction to him and to other men is due to your dissatisfaction with your own life and with your husband. It's time to start communicating with your husband. Consider seeing a marriage counselor. Both you and your husband have the planet Venus in the sign Sagittarius in your natal charts and this is usually indicative of someone who is a bachelor at heart. Your husband may be feeling the same way that you are.
Eugenia
