We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am in a long distance relationship with a man 5 hours from me (Oct. 24, 1979) and I am wondering how we can make it work or if it really could work since I don't have the time (nor money) to waste on unworthy causes.
I feel very strongly about him. We've met twice & the first time we were both out of sorts. Last time we had a great time! I've never had an online relationship but I do understand that a lot of work is involved. Commitment, sacrifices & compromising are the top 3 things I can think of. I'm afraid that I won't be able to provide my part of the bargain as well as he could. I'm afraid that after some time we'll be too tired to continue this relationship & feel that we have -really- wasted our time & money. I haven't been able to find someone as compatible with me as he in my own town. I've been single for over a year now. I'm afraid I might only be interested in him because he's interested in me too, just because I've been single for so long (I don't think that's very truthful though).
The only way that an online relationship can work is if both partners plan on being together down the line. We're not dating yet but we both want to move back to BC in the near future. I have so many fears. What about my education? My career? What if we're only compatible with distance between us, & then we rip each other to shreds once we're together-together? ARGH!!
Could you offer me a bit of astrological advice? I do know that all but 2 of his & my astro houses are located under the same sign. Any words of wisdom would be really appreciated!
Wrapped up
Dear Wrapped up
The comparison was okay. Keep in mind that in order to have a relationship work it takes work. People always think that if they fall in love that's all it takes but unfortunately a relationship probably takes more time, effort and work then anything else you do in life. I believe that he is someone who can help you achieve some of your dreams, hopes and wishes, however that doesn't mean that you will end up together forever. More so than having a long term or everlasting union a relationship should be based on how much you learn from one another, enjoy one another and compliment one another. You have time to kill right now as the next time you are in a really high cycle for love is next year. As for now you should be enjoying whatever time you do get to spend with one another. Just because you live a distance doesn't mean that you can't do things on the cheap. You'd probably spend just as much cash staying at home as you would staying at his place or vise versa. If you really enjoy one another's company you'll find ways to spend more time together while you discover each other's likes, dislikes, needs and desires. Don't be impatient love and relationships take time.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I was born July 24, 1961 at 12:15 PM and I have been having an affair with a married man for 2 years. He's born November 24, 1959 I don't know what time. I'm also unsure of his wife's birth date. I am absolutely madly in love with this man. He has had numerous affairs and was in fact seeing another lady when he and I first started seeing each other. He stopped seeing her and was only seeing me. He tells me he loves me. I know he's gone to his mother and told her he loves me as well as I have spoken to her several times. A few weeks ago someone, unknown to us, called his place of employment, my place of employment AND his wife and told this little bit of gossip. Our jobs are not in jeopardy but the gossip is of course crazy. I told him he would have to choose between his family and me. It's not possible that we could keep seeing each other with someone knowing who we are and where we work and so on. We live in a very small community! So...this person called his wife two times. She did not tell him at all. She only told him when he went home and told her someone was calling his work place starting gossip. She has not confronted him about this; she has actually just pretended it never happened. They are as normal, which of course is not the best. He says he can't leave her because of his children ages 17, 16, and 13. So as it stands now he and I are finished. My heart is broken. I know this man is not the best man in the world but I love him anyway. I want him so bad it hurts. Will he ever leave her for me? Do I have a hope at all? I know his sign is a good sign for a Leo...please help!!
Leo
Dear Leo
What are you thinking?????? I can't believe you think so little of yourself that you would get involved with a man (mommy's boy) who is obviously a two-timing cheater with little respect for woman.
You are right however about one thing and that is that you do match up to this man but you have to realize that he will never be true to anyone, not you, obviously not his wife, or any other partner he gets involved with. If you can live with him cheating on you go ahead and fight for this unworthy man.
He is a Sagittarius and they are born bachelors. He will never fully commit to anyone. To introduce you to his mother is about as low as he can get. Going behind his wife's back and bringing you into his inner circle is not acceptable. Put yourself in his wife's shoes for just a moment and regardless of whether he matches up to you or her better he should have the courage and decency to end one relationship before getting involved in another.
He is coming into a two to three year Saturn transit that is going to force him to make some changes and one of those changes could very easily be his wife being fed up and moving on (cannot be sure without her birth data). Hopefully this will be the case and you will be able to experience first hand what it is like to be in a committed relationship with a man who has other women in his life. It may just cure you of your need to sleep with other women's husbands.
Your chart indicates that you are in a high cycle regarding having the man of your dreams coming back into your life or finding a new lover (which should be your preference) this year. I suspect however that you will wait for him and probably continue to see him when the gossip dies down.
If you really want this man he is easy to get - just pretend you don't want him - it's the chase that turns him on. I expect if you do pursue him that I will be hearing from you again in about a year and a half to two years.
Eugenia
