
We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia Last
In Nov of 2000 my son (born April 16, 1984 at 4:10 p.m.) developed a serious mental disease. This has been particularly hard on my younger son (born June 30, 1986 at 12:07 a.m.) and he has decided not to come home anymore because he is treated so poorly by his brother. At the same time my husband, born August 4,1950, has coped with this by staying a work most of his waking hours. To add to the mess he has an employee that he thinks is just perfect and she has been wiggling and giggling her way into our lives for nine years. I have repeatedly asked him to get her out of our lives but he refuses to do so. Since my son's illness started I have been the stay at home mom, nurse, whatever. As well as dealing with my son I also took care of my dad in his last year. He was very sick for a very long time and he had a mitt-full of health issues that made his passing very slow and painful. I have reached a point where all I feel is pain and I am trying to find some way to change my life. Do you have any suggestions - I was born August 24, 1950 at 6:50 PM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
Lets address your relationship with your husband first. You neglected to mention the birth date of his wiggly giggly gal at the office leaving me nothing to work with regarding what's actually going on between them. I can tell you however that last year he was in a cycle that is conducive to having an affair and that he was born with the major sign of sorrow in his chart when it comes to relationships. He does not deal with health issues very well so God forbid he ever get ill himself. He has turned a blind eye on his family when you and your boys needed him the most. This is not the sign of a very strong man or partner and you should seriously consider what you are going to do about your marriage should he not agree to go to counseling to fix the problems you are experiencing. Somehow I don't think he will but you have to ask. With transiting Saturn still moving through an area of his chart that deals with his attitude toward his partner I'd say he is closed to any ideas that suggest fixing what's wrong and is probably in denial because it is the easy way out.
You on the other hand have been a glutton for punishment and you have to put an end to it before you become ill. Being a Virgo it is hard to give in to failure and move on but sometimes it's the only means of survival. The area of your chart that deals with partnerships, marriage etc has been and will continue to go through a make it or break it period so if you don't seek help it is likely to go downhill. You are actually however in a high cycle regarding love this year with transiting Jupiter favorably aspecting your natal Venus however it is not likely that you will get the chance to take advantage of this unless you opt to kick your husband out immediately and move on. It can however help you should you be able to convince your husband to seek help and counseling. Both you and your husband are heading into your second Saturn return during the second half of next year. This is a period of reevaluating your life and making choices that will alter your future. If you both haven't already been thinking along these lines already you will be soon. This period of time will be conducive to making the effort to do something about your relationship or move on. You both went through your first Saturn return in 1979 - if you think back to that time and what you were experiencing it will help you to make the right decision now.
Your sons are a completely different story. There is no excuse for your son with mental disorders to abuse his younger brother and you and your husband should never have let this happen. Your younger son is a Cancer and family means a lot to him. Fortunately he is coming into better times right now and I believe if he can manage to move on he will do just fine however he may
Hi! Eugenia
I have been having problems with my husband for the past three years (the amount of time we have been married). My husband is financially irresponsible and has a substance abuse problem he doesn't want to admit too. I get so frustrated when he's using drugs. I have even hit him a couple of times (which I have never done before) I get so upset to see him that way and wonder why I am with a person like him. I also just had a baby (not planned but overjoyed!). My baby has become the focus of my life and I want to give him everything. I am fed up with my husband and want to leave him but it has been really hard. He will not leave. I feel like my life is in pause because I can't achieve any of my goals. I am the sole provider of the house. He doesn't help with the bills. Will things change? I really want a better life for me & my baby. What should I do?
I was born July 26, 1973, at 7:41 PM.
Fed Up
Dear Fed Up
The fact that you didn't even mention when your husband was born leads me to believe that you have fallen out of love with this man. It's hard to get that love back when too much has gone wrong. I believe that you are asking me to make a decision for you which I can not do however I can tell you that you are going through your first Saturn return and this is a period where you reevaluate your life and make decisions to stagnate or turn things around. Your husband has a problem and unless he is willing to recognize this and do something about it there is no point wasting your time or subjecting your baby and yourself to his abuse. You must give him an ultimatum to get help and if he doesn't oblige it will be time for you to leave. If you own your house jointly and he won't leave or sign the papers to put the house up for sale you must take legal action. If you rent take your baby and get out. The little bit of cash you lose is not worth putting up with his irresponsibility. On making these comments I do however wish that you had provided me with both your husbands and your babies birth data so that I could get a total view of your situation and if your husband has the capacity to turn his life around for the sake of his family. If you believe in your heart that he doesn't than take the baby and run.
Eugenia