We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle.  Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?

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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.

For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.

I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.

The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:

Article: Forget Him?

Dear Eugenia,

I hope you will answer my letter. I beg you to. There is a man I have been seeing for 9 months. He works at the same office but in a different department. The problem is that he is still married. He keeps on extending the date to separate from his wife saying he has to do it because of his kids. I do understand his situation, but sometimes I feel like I am getting used unintentionally. I know he wouldn't purposely hurt me. I live alone. And it's so lonely without him. At work he is such a distraction, because I always think about him.

I love him very much, but my life was turned upside down because of him. I am emotionally very unstable. Could you please advice me if I should pursue this any more. I am thinking of finding another job, since it would be easier to forget him that way. His date of birth is 08/13/1954 6.45pm and mine is October 4, 1971, at 10:25 PM. Please I beg you to give me some advice.

Desperate

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Dear Desperate

Yes you do match up to your Leo friend but he is in a situation that is not healthy for you. I believe that you should back away, change your job if necessary and get on with your life. If he is serious about you and leaving his family he will do so. As for you sitting around and waiting you should stop doing so immediately. Whether you think he is using you or not, he is. Right now he has two women in his life that he is hurting along with his son. You are going through your Saturn return this year and that will make you depressed as well as cause you to reevaluate your situation. This year is a make it or break it period for you. As for him, I would have thought that if he was planning to leave his family he would have done so a couple of years ago. If you continue to wait around for him he will have no desire or need to make the necessary changes. His chart indicates that he is extremely changeable regarding his feelings and his relationships. He is wishy-washy about love and can be a bit of a player. Be careful what you wish for. If he can cheat on his wife and son he will certainly be able to cheat on you.

Eugenia

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Article: From Virgo

Dear Eugenia,

I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.

Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?

Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.

Virgo

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Dear Virgo

The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be

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Article: No Need for Guilt

Dear Eugenia,

The year 2000 came with fireworks, just not the fireworks I was expecting. After 5 years in a relationship with the same man, two and half of which we were married, he indicated January 2,2000 that he was not sure if he was "in love" with me. This was perhaps not a surprise to me, as we had been having conflicts over the last year due to my attending grad school and we had attended counseling, per my request. After much debating, I decided to leave our house on Jan 8, 2000 and allow him some "time to think." It was during that time that I found out that there was another woman with whom he was involved. I have always been very naive, too naive I suppose! He was my first boyfriend and, therefore, my only experience. Since my discovery, I have endured many unpleasant moments, which I would rather not retell. A month after we were separated, I decided that I could not continue with a relationship which was based on a lie, and so I filed for divorce. And so here I stand, filled with anger and pain. Feeling guilty as perhaps the reason why he ended up involving himself with someone else was my fault or my dedication to my career...I don't know whether that is a question that you may be able to answer, but, for my own peace I would like to know. I was born April 4, 1975, at 8:15 a.m. sun sign: Aries; rising sign: Taurus/ He was born November 3, 1971 (unfortunately, don't know what time).

Thank you...
Standing Alone

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Dear Standing Alone

Your comparison indicates that you are well suited to one another in most ways. There is however two things that would cause problems in your relationship. The first being deception and the second being an element of anger that appears to be present regarding position and status in society. He may have felt some insecurity regarding your direction professionally, however that is no excuse for him to be with someone else. Especially while you were still together. He should have talked to you about the way he felt long before the situation got out of hand. I doubt however that it would have made much of a difference in the outcome because I feel strongly that your educational pursuits are very important to you, and so they should be. He is approaching his Saturn return and this is making him re-evaluate his past as well as pushing him to make the changes necessary to move forward in a way that he sees most suitable. Unfortunately even if he does want to make amends I feel that you are best to move forward yourself. You should be continuing your studies and pushing to be the best that you can be. There will be other partners in the future who will treat you properly so don't feel so alone. Focus on your educational pursuits because that is what you should be doing right now and when the time is right the white knight will rock your world. You do match up well to the sign Scorpio so don't rule out getting involved with another one.

Eugenia

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