We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
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The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Many years ago I consulted an astrologer about my chances of marrying happily, and he replied, "Do you really want to know?" He seemed so evasive and reluctant that I didn't push it. A year or two later I met my husband (9/17/53) and we have been together for nearly fifteen years. I have since learned a little about astrology and decided that the reason the astrologer was so reticent is that I have Neptune in Scorpio in the seventh house. I think this has manifested mostly in my husband's struggles with alcohol; about three years ago he finally made a major effort and got his drinking under control. Unfortunately at the same time-- I wonder if it was the catalyst-- I reconnected with an old friend (11/11/61) who is in the same line of creative work I am. Although this relationship upset my husband I did not give it up. I realize that this person is a friend and not a suitable candidate for husband/father (we have three children) but I cannot convince my husband that is the case, even though I have been faithful to him and the other relationship is somewhat tenuous. Is it that my husband is being super controlling or am I not being honest? If I give up my friend will my husband go back to drinking? The astrology books are not very reassuring on the Neptune in the seventh house thing, so I wonder if I am stuck with relationship weirdness no matter what, or if I would just be better off being a nun. My birthday is 4/4/65, at 6 AM.
Thank you--
"Doomed by Neptune"
Dear "Doomed by Neptune"
First of all your Neptune may be in your seventh house but it is well aspected to your natal Saturn and Pluto and yes it does oppose your Moon and Jupiter as well but don't lose sight of the fact that the Moon is well aspsected to both Saturn and Pluto as well. This should give you an overall positive skew on your relationship capability. Now you are right regarding partners being of an escapist nature but that doesn't mean that you can't have a successful relationship and that your current partner can't pull his act together. This set up can be highly creative sexually if that's where the energy is put and obviously you and your husband did just that, the result being your three children. With your Neptune Jupiter opposition and of course Jupiter being in your first house you can tend to overreact a bit and may not be totally honest with yourself or your partner at an emotional level. I feel that your past acquaintance is really not the issue as you do not match up to him well. As a matter of fact it is more like a sister brother connection and a strained one at that. Your Scorpio friend falls in an area of your chart that deals with dead end projects. As for your husband your comparison was okay but sorrow does prevail especially with regard to his drinking problem. With his natal Neptune in an adverse position to his natal Uranus I believe that he could fall off the wagon from time to time. However, it probably won't be the result of your friendship with your Scorpio friend. Your Scorpio however should only be someone that you deal with as a direct result of work and nothing more. If you want your marriage to work you and your husband will have to work together in order to keep his problem under control. If he can't handle it and continually gets inebriated you will have to make a decision based on what's best for you and your children. Your husband falls in an area of your chart that deals with children and partying and that is probably how things started out some 15 years ago however times have changed and he's going to have to pull up his socks or expect to lose his family.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I was born July 24, 1961 at 12:15 PM and I have been having an affair with a married man for 2 years. He's born November 24, 1959 I don't know what time. I'm also unsure of his wife's birth date. I am absolutely madly in love with this man. He has had numerous affairs and was in fact seeing another lady when he and I first started seeing each other. He stopped seeing her and was only seeing me. He tells me he loves me. I know he's gone to his mother and told her he loves me as well as I have spoken to her several times. A few weeks ago someone, unknown to us, called his place of employment, my place of employment AND his wife and told this little bit of gossip. Our jobs are not in jeopardy but the gossip is of course crazy. I told him he would have to choose between his family and me. It's not possible that we could keep seeing each other with someone knowing who we are and where we work and so on. We live in a very small community! So...this person called his wife two times. She did not tell him at all. She only told him when he went home and told her someone was calling his work place starting gossip. She has not confronted him about this; she has actually just pretended it never happened. They are as normal, which of course is not the best. He says he can't leave her because of his children ages 17, 16, and 13. So as it stands now he and I are finished. My heart is broken. I know this man is not the best man in the world but I love him anyway. I want him so bad it hurts. Will he ever leave her for me? Do I have a hope at all? I know his sign is a good sign for a Leo...please help!!
Leo
Dear Leo
What are you thinking?????? I can't believe you think so little of yourself that you would get involved with a man (mommy's boy) who is obviously a two-timing cheater with little respect for woman.
You are right however about one thing and that is that you do match up to this man but you have to realize that he will never be true to anyone, not you, obviously not his wife, or any other partner he gets involved with. If you can live with him cheating on you go ahead and fight for this unworthy man.
He is a Sagittarius and they are born bachelors. He will never fully commit to anyone. To introduce you to his mother is about as low as he can get. Going behind his wife's back and bringing you into his inner circle is not acceptable. Put yourself in his wife's shoes for just a moment and regardless of whether he matches up to you or her better he should have the courage and decency to end one relationship before getting involved in another.
He is coming into a two to three year Saturn transit that is going to force him to make some changes and one of those changes could very easily be his wife being fed up and moving on (cannot be sure without her birth data). Hopefully this will be the case and you will be able to experience first hand what it is like to be in a committed relationship with a man who has other women in his life. It may just cure you of your need to sleep with other women's husbands.
Your chart indicates that you are in a high cycle regarding having the man of your dreams coming back into your life or finding a new lover (which should be your preference) this year. I suspect however that you will wait for him and probably continue to see him when the gossip dies down.
If you really want this man he is easy to get - just pretend you don't want him - it's the chase that turns him on. I expect if you do pursue him that I will be hearing from you again in about a year and a half to two years.
Eugenia
Hi,?
I'm not sure where to start.? I was born January 29, 1967 at 3:20 am and my ex husband (Dec 10, 1967, sorry do not know the time) and I have been divorced for 5 years.? For the past year we have been battling back and forth over child support, which a court has ruled, but my ex won't follow it.? The court has made an order for him to pay a set amount, but he only has paid 1/2 that said amount.? He constantly tries to manipulate me into doing what he wants by using fear. And he's good at it.? I've given in to him many times because of the fear.? I see that now, and am trying to change that and not let him push me around anymore. I have a great lawyer who was at the right place at the right time so I've retained her; she also represented me in my divorce.? Anyway, I am now starting to not give in to his scare tactics and standing firm in what I feel is right and going forward with court.? But, my ex just won't give up. Every time he sees me, or calls me, he's got to get in a sharp word to upset me. It's almost as if he's trying everything in the book to get me to back down and let the child support arrears go before our next court hearing in July.? I am getting emotionally worn out but I find the more I keep moving forward, the stronger I get.? Will he EVER leave me alone and let me move on with my life?? He's getting married in July, so I don't understand why the constant harassment.? I do have a great support system in my boss, friends, and my lawyer (who are all Taurus's) and they keep me focused.? I'm just wondering if my ex will ever leave me alone and accept that the law is the law or will we be fighting over "money" for ever?? My other question is I have a friend, (May 16, 1949...sorry, no time of birth) who is very interested in me, and I in him.? We both are taking this "friendship/relationship" slow but want it to develop into a committed relationship.? Will it?? He's wonderful to me, very caring, and giving and loving.? He's very supportive and even protective when it comes to my ex. He does have his "quirks", but we all do and I find that communication works really well when something isn't "right".?? I just wanted to know if this would be a good relationship or a waste of time. I wonder when it will be my turn to be in a loving relationship, and hope this one will develop and work out.? There haven't been many "admirers" knocking on my door since my divorce and it's getting depressing.? Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you have time to respond to it.
Kali
Hi Kali
You can?t back down and you will win. Even though your ex will always try to get away with not paying you must stand firm. If he is abusive and using fear tactics you will have to have your lawyer intervene with a court order forbidding him to talk to you directly. That way the law will deal with him not you. You did not have a good comparison with him but it was a karmic connection that you had to endure. The worst is over and I believe that you can and will get on with your life. You will be coming into a much higher cycle regarding love beginning in the fall of 2005 but that doesn?t mean that the man you are currently seeing won?t be the one. He does match up to you well however as you said he does have his quirks. The comparison did show some signs of him being over protective at times and this can be a problem if you don?t control it from day one. Other than that you have a terrific comparison. My only concern is that you are settling for someone because you are insecure and afraid you won?t get another chance to find love. Please move slowly, in the fall of 2005 you will know whether he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or someone else will steel your heart at that time. You match up well to those born under the signs Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
Eugenia
