We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Hello again Eugenia,
I wrote you last year in May, telling you about the problems with my husband (born January 31 1959, 2.50am) and my situation with the immigration status in US. I tried to follow your advice and go with him to marriage counseling, but the things were not very good. He didn't want to go first, and when he went, he said that the counseling it doesn't work for him because nobody will come to tell him that he is wrong, when he knows that he is right.
In December, last year, I found 4 email accounts full of emails back and forth with a lot of women. Many of them were very in love with him. He promised them marriage and a good situation in US. A women from Mexico called at the house and she was very upset when she found out that he is married. Nobody from his women in Internet knew that he is married. He recognized everything he did, but in the same time he doesn't want to be with me anymore. Its like: "I don't want you because you know too many things about me now."
Eugenia, I tried everything with this man, I tried to play by the rules in this marriage, but he deceived me so many times that I don't trust him anymore. He lied to me from the beginning, he controls me in every way you can think about it, and he abuses me mentally very hard. My main problem is the immigration situation in this moment; he keeps me stuck in the house, like a slave. From more than 6 months, I am trying to apply for getting a legal status in the country, together with my daughter, with a law who defends women and children who live in abusive relationships with their husbands, but because I don't have money to pay a lawyer (my husband controls all the finances), I was not able to find somebody to help me apply, even if I went to all the places where you can receive free legal services. I wanted to leave him many times in the last year, since I wrote you, but I don't have where to go and what to do. I cannot work and make a living together with my daughter without him. The situation is very difficult and I am really desperate.
My first question is if you see something about this situation in my chart, and when do you think that I will be able to resolve something?
Trying to find more things about my husband activity in Internet, going in chats and other sites where I found out he was all the time, I met a man, 2 months ago. He is psychologist and professor to a university, not very close to my city. Since February, we chat and emailed each other each day. We talked on the phone few times. We have good time together. We laugh a lot, and he is very considerate and nice...He was born October 15, 1957, at 12.26pm.He understood my situation, and we decided to take it slow because of my situation. He wants to meet me soon.
Sometimes I feel bad thinking that now I am doing the same thing my husband did with his secret life in Internet, but in the same time, I feel that I need somebody in my life to get through all this mess that I have to live, and mentally and emotionally I don't feel connected with my husband anymore. I don't think that he deserves my love and my respect after all the garbage he put on our life together.
Do I have any future with this new man in my life? I had so many bad experiences with my 2 divorces, now the 3rd husband is a real jerk, my horrible situation with the legal status and everything, and I am really afraid to suffer again. I don't want you to believe that I am jumping in a new relationship when I am still in such a mess.... but this guy seems to bring a lot of light in my miserable life....
Thank you a lot for all your help,
gabituca
Hi grabituca
You are taking the wrong approach by doing the same thing you are accusing your husband of doing. Think about your daughter not your physical needs right now. The man you have met on the internet does not match up to you at all in fact I do
Dear Eugenia:
I have been married for six years. For most of that time, our sex life has been practically nonexistent, even though we seem to be quite compatible based on our charts. This is my fault, really, as early on I lost my desire to have sex with him; in fact, I am turned off by his touch. I've never told him this because I don't want to hurt him, but, obviously, the "sex" issue has caused some major discord in our marriage. I have tried to rekindle my passion, but I haven't had any success. I know the problem is not physical, as I often have sexual dreams and fantasize about other men (but I've never cheated). If I am unable to get past this, it most surely will lead to divorce. I was born 11/20/71 at 6:50 a.m., my husband was born 5/6/65, (time unknown). Thank you for your advice.
Passionless Wife
Dear Passionless Wife
I don?t really see your comparison as being all that great regarding love. It lacks in areas essential to building a happy and loving relationship. It appears to be more like a brother sister connection that is definitely not built on passion. Your chart indicates that you are coming into a period that brings opportunities for you to meet someone who knocks you off your feet. This could lead to a secret affair if you aren?t out of your current situation. I suggest that if you don?t want this to happen and you truly want to try to rekindle your relationship, that you start communicating with your husband honestly about your feelings and let him know what?s lacking in your marriage. I am a believer that any relationship can work if both people are willing to put in the effort. However, unfortunately I have found that in most cases when it doesn?t work there is a lack of communication and it?s often quite one-sided with regards to who puts what into the marriage. In your case I feel that honesty and straightforwardness will be required. Although this may hurt your husbands feelings initially, if you are living in a loveless marriage I think he would agree that getting help or splitting up would be preferable to the nonexistent connection that you have right now.
Eugenia
