We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Dear Eugenia,
It is Easter today...just another day...like any other. Please let me explain: In March 1990 my husband was operated on for a giant brain-aneurysm...he lived...had a massive stroke and was hospitalized and ended up in a wheelchair and months later to a quad-cane and brain damaged. He was 55 years old and I was 51 years young.
I took him home many months later and started to care for him. The doctors did not tell me about the brain injury nor the "surprise seizures".
LIFE turned into HEll.I'm so sick of all of this...I need a strong shoulder to lean on and a kind word. Would love to touch a person and walk hand in hand. A kind word, a smile, a kiss....am I asking too much???? Is there still " a bright SPOT on my horizon???"
Loveless Poohchen.
Dear Loveless Poohchen
On the good side you do live in a country that offers so many social services and it's time you went beyond family and made the next move. God put us here for a good time not a long time and I believe that no one should endure suffering at the hand of someone who is no longer in control of who he or she is or what they do. The comparison with your Leo husband wasn't the greatest to begin with and although I usually like two Leo's together in your case it wasn't the greatest. With a build up of natal planets in Virgo in an area of your chart that deals with partnerships your loyalty and determination to do what you feel is the right thing has brought you to this case scenario. All that said you must realize that you can't do it all by yourself. Your comparison with your husband indicates that you are moving into a period due to transiting Saturn and Uranus that could lead to violence on top of the verbal abuse and I strongly suggest that you get his name on a waiting list so that you can put him into a home where he will be better cared for and where you can visit him without the worry of being abused. It is time for you to get on with your life and although that doesn't mean to forget about him it does mean that you have to look out for your own interests as well. Obviously if you can not get help in the home because of the way he is you need to get him out of the house and into safe quarters where he also can continue his life in good hands and with other people who are in a similar situation. Your situation will not get better until you do something about it therefore I strongly urge you to take the next step and talk to someone who can help you place him in a good facility where he will be cared for and you will be safe.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia
I am really confused. I dislike my dad's partner - Unfortunately intensely. This started shortly after he met her 2 years after he and Mum separated, now 8 years ago, when I was 10. Until recently she treated me considerately, but I continued to dislike her. Now she has openly shown an aggressive dislike of me. I am now older and have decided to write down my dislikes of her. Today she refused to cooperate with this saying do what you like I am not interested. I live with her, my dad and their son, Giles, my brother. Dad is miserable and I don't want to split them up (as threatened by her) but I can't change the way I feel fundamentally. Any suggestions? I was born June 2, 1988 at 3:30 PM.
Gemini Son
Dear Eugenia
Do you give advice to men in distress? I should wait for your reply, but I am in need of immediate advice. I am 55, born February 23, 1951 at 9:30 AM and I have an 18 old son, a 35 year old partner and our son of 6. Eldest son and partner don't get on. After years of aggression by him, eldest son attempted to ameliorate situation by beginning to be civil to her, but too late it seems. Now his attempts, clumsy though they may be are rebuffed by her. I think she is being unreasonable, but I appreciate she is very hurt. I am piggy in the middle, as usual. Not the first time (third marriage/relationship). Help!!!
Distressed Father
Dear Gemini Son and Distressed Father
I tired to email both of you to find out when your stepmother/partner was born considering she is the main issue but your emails bounced back to me therefore I am combining your emails and looking at your charts to see if I can help.
As a father you should have nipped that nastiness that your son continually shoved in your partners face a long time ago. He may not have liked her but that didn't mean that he had to abuse her and at the same time hurt you. Your son is vocal and can be unpredictable and act in haste saying things that are hurtful. He is intelligent, charming and knows how to manipulate situations which is precisely what he has done, and you have let him. As a Pisces father and partner you have been too soft trying to preserve peace with both your wife and your son. This has probably made you appear weak in the eyes of your partner causing her to lose respect and at this point probably not really caring all that much if both you and your son leave. Without her chart it is impossible for me to tell you exactly where she is at or how strong your astrological comparison is however you can check that out yourself if you go to my www.astroadvice.com web site and run a compatibility test. If you measure up to 70% or higher you probably have a chance to turn things around.
I fear however that with the onslaught of transiting Saturn moving in to oppose your Pisces planets you are about to face some limitations that could easily lead to another failed marriage. If your partner is a Sagittarius or Capricorn I imagine she has had enough and is heading out the door. You may want to consider doing some very fast-talking and decision making if you want to give a last attempt at rectifying this problem.
With the cooperation of your Gemini son who has not been a stellar addition to the family you may pull this off. He may be trying to make amends but short of him moving out it may not be enough. Being 18 now he should be close to pursuing higher education so possibly he can go away for his next level of schooling. It is obvious that he is smart and that he should be continuing his education so please consider this as it is probably the best option if you want to make you marriage work. If your son doesn't want to move out or go away to school remind him that he owes you and your partner for putting up with all the crap he has dished out the past ten years. After all who the heck was running the show at home
