We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Hi Eugenia
I'm considering divorce... my problem is my husband (Sept. 19, 1959.) still considers visiting a single woman, secretly, I always find out, and it hurts me, but he doesn't seem to care, cause as he puts in he isn't doing anything wrong. Well I feel betrayed. I also feel he has other secrets that he doesn't share with me. I could be wrong but I don't really know. My birthday is Feb. 15,1960. Hers is Feb. 26 1960. I kind of do believe they are friends but it still doesn't sit well with me nor do our children like it... Do you think that a divorce is the right thing for me to initiate at this time.. I seem to be running out of options.. Cause deep down I don't want a divorce I want my husband to appreciate & love me.
Thanks for listening............
Feeling left out
Hi Feeling left out
This is a very sticky situation. He matches up to you a little bit better than he does to his Pisces friend. His comparison with her does show some sorrow and on the other side his comparison with you does not indicate deception. I do believe that he is attracted to her and enjoys her company as a friend but I don't believe that he has taken it further. I feel however that she might try. With that in mind it does put you in a very difficult situation. If you nag him you will only make him move towards her. You may want to suggest however that anyone that is a friend of his should also be a friend to the family and have him invite her over for lunch or dinner. This way you get yourself and the children into the loop. At least from that position you can monitor the situation and protect your interests wisely. If he isn't interested in doing so you may want to play his game and find a male friend to spend some time with. After all what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Be smart about the situation. I believe you love him and that your family means enough to you to try to hold it together. If he truly believes in friendship with the opposite sex he should not have a problem with you having male companionship as well. I must caution you however that this can turn into a very dangerous situation especially if you happen to actually meet someone who fills the needs that your husband is obviously not fulfilling. The other approach will be for your children to voice their concerns and how they feel about being left out and that he should be spending the time he gives to his Pisces friend with them.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia:
My birth date is July 1, 1949 1:00 am, my husband is May 18, 1946.
I am going through a very emotional time in my life. My mother (to whom I was very close died in April) which caused a major family fallout which resulted in a lot of our family not talking to each other and breaking ties completely. Prior to and during this time I feel that my marriage has come to an end. We have been married for 33 years and have been drifting apart for some time. We have very little communication what so ever, and any that we have is mostly anger and aggression. I also feel that there has been someone else in my husband's life. I am confused as to why he doesn't just walk away from the marriage and yet if I had to confront him I have learned from past experiences that he would just lie anyway so I don't see the point, as he is very abusive verbally. My biggest problem in leaving the marriage is financial security, as I do not have the confidence that I could survive on my own. (My childhood was very poor and insecure and I am sure this has a lot to do with my current insecurities especially financial) I have gained a lot of weight with the stress of everything going on in my life which does not help my self esteem and my work is suffering as I cannot concentrate on things at work. I cannot see a future for myself on my own yet my health is suffering daily from staying in this relationship as I cannot understand why I have stayed in this emotional abusive situation for so long. Do you see a brighter future for me and some self-improvements that could help me have the confidence to walk away. And is there a possible suitable companion that could give me the loving caring relationship that I dream of is possible in this life. Can you please advise?
Desperate.
Dear Desperate.
Life is like a lit match. It burns rapidly and then it's gone. For all the time that people waste in situations that are unbearable I have little sympathy. You are the master of your own will and destiny and its time for you to get a grip and move on. You will be in a better position next year to start that diet, join a fitness group, start swimming and so forth. For now you have to take care of business and that means call up your real estate agent if you own your home and force the issue to put it on the market. Split your assets down the middle and start to make plans for the future. Life is simple; it's people who make it complex. You've been clinging to something that is doing nothing but bringing you down. Where you should have been excelling professionally this year you've been vacillating about your personal life. You will have a positive cycle professionally between October and February and you should do whatever you can to focus on your job, career and advancement. If you work hard you will do just fine. During the last half of next year and the first half of 2002 you will be in a high cycle romantically. If you are still with your husband you will miss that opportunity. Your game plan should be focus on work and selling assets in order to split what you have together. Next get into shape during the spring and summer of next year followed by new friends and lovers. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
