We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Dear Eugenia
My boyfriend of 3yrs (have been friends for 18yrs) has a sexual hang-up. He needs pictures, from magazines, from mail-order videos xxxrated)and watches mpegs on x-rated web sites. But we never seem to have sex! He never wants to touch me. I have asked him if he is still attracted to me he of course said "Yes!!!" He, however, does not know just how much I know! I was cleaning our bed room one day and found videos for the camcorder under his dresser, I of course thinking they're just home videos, put them in the VCR, much to my surprise, they were of 2 of my neighbors!!! Not knowing they were being filmed. Also of my boyfriend pleasuring himself. I did ask him discreetly so as not to get caught, if he would ever or did he ever sleep with Miss. R. He said that it was gross of me to even ask him that and he was never nor could he ever be attracted to Miss. R. I don't know what to do since his little secret does affect our sex life. If I tell him all that I know, all his reply would be "what are you doing going through my things for?" His birthday is October 26,1961 @ 8:19 a.m. and mine is October 17, 1961, at 3:01 AM. Please help if you can!!!!
Sex Starved
Dear Sex Starved
Wow, quite the dilemma. One of the things that stood out loud and clear in your comparison was that his natal Venus really didn't hook up to your chart. That is usually an indication that problems can develop. However, the fact that he does have his natal Moon adversely aspected to his natal Pluto can result in problems that stem from his relationship with females (mother, sister and so on) when he was growing up. He does have his natal Moon aspecting his natal Venus in a favorable way so we know that he does like to have sex. He also has his natal Sun, Mars and Neptune in Scorpio (rules the sexual organs) in an area of his chart that deals with secrets so I'm not surprised that he has kept his fetishes out of sight. I must tell you however that many men and women enjoy looking at pictures, etc., that part isn't uncommon but to not want to have sex with you or touch you is a problem. If you really want to try to make this relationship work at a physical level, open and honest communication regarding one another's sexual likes and dislikes will have to be addressed. Your chart indicates that you have a healthy sexual appetite, therefore I suggest that you will have to begin by making suggestions or buying items that will turn him on. Read him a sexy short story out of an ex-rated magazine when you go to bed or show interest in watching some soft porn videos together. In order to get to the root of his needs and desires you will have to enter his private world. Give it a shot, after all I know that you're attracted to him by the way your natal Venus hooks up to his chart. Be creative in the bedroom and don't be afraid to have a little fun with the one you love.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I know I've met my soul mate, but we keep having conflicts that end with me not wanting to deal with him. He's a Taurus born May 4, 1971 and I'm a Cancer born June 25, 1962. Nine months ago he came back into my life after a 5-year separation, and I believed he wanted a second chance and that he truly loved me. His actions say otherwise when it comes to my feelings. I've gone out of my way, once again, to make sure he is happy, comfortable, and to give all the support he needs. He's done nothing for me and he makes me feel that he has taken advantage of me again and only cares about himself.
I've just recently asked him to leave, because he had hurt my feelings again and that was the last straw for me. I miss him desperately, but I don't know if it's my self-destructive behavior that won't completely let go! I don't want to go through this back and forth emotional roller coaster with him forever. Am I lying to myself? My Cancer logic is slipping away...
Destined
Dear Destined
The comparison does lack some qualities that I would like to see and deception and disillusionment are present in areas of your chart that deal with the home and chores that you share with one another. The unfortunate thing is that once you do too much for someone it is hard to back off and stop doing without causing problems in the relationship. This person is taking advantage of you but you have allowed it to happen. Your chart indicates that you do have problems when it comes to relationships. Your natal Saturn opposite your natal Venus both adversely aspected by your natal Neptune can make it difficult for you to choose properly. It is important for you to have an astrological comparison done before you give your heart to someone. You are in a high cycle for romance right now and will also be during the first half of next year. It is important for you to move on and free yourself of this man who has little to offer you but grief. Keep in mind that as long as he is in your life it will be difficult to take advantage of the opportunities you have for meeting someone new. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
