We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
Sometime during the first half of February 1995 I met this man. His birth date is 4.4.1967. He was my supervisor; I was a phone sales associate. When I first saw him I disliked the way he looked and assumed I wouldn't care whatever his personality was, either. It turned out that he was a wonderful mentor, a really good boss and just naturally inclined at helping people out. I did very well on that job due to his excellent guidance, and I'm sure a lot of the people there, even though they didn't say anything to my face, thought that he was playing favorites. I didn't mind because I wanted to achieve much and get along with everybody at the same time, so my stance was basically a neutral one, which they had loved to call "being professional".
My confusion started when he began acting as if we were really close. In that place where men out number women in selling and dealing with auto parts, I didn't have difficulty eventually becoming one of the guys where handshakes, arm linking hugs, back pats (or slaps) and even shoulder holding were just normal, friendly ways of interacting so it wasn't an issue of unwanted advances or sexual harassment. What bothered me was that we couldn't seem to talk about ourselves except when it had to do with work. He was starting to grow on me, and during those times when he seemed to be making passes at me, I was delighted with it but didn't want to take him up on it, until he leveled with me on what his intentions were. I just couldn't allow it to sweep me off my feet because it didn't feel honest, and one thing I've always wanted more than anything else was to be in an equal relationship. We went on like this until he left the company to pursue other opportunities. Even though nothing officially intimate happened between us, I still felt really sad, as though a lover had left. I was depressed for a while, all the time thinking I was crazy and totally out of my head, that I didn't initiate things. What did it matter if you love a person yet you're both engaging in some sort of power play where it seemed like the affection was with held by omission?
The definite upside on the whole thing was that it prompted me to look for answers instead of letting it eat at me by becoming bitter. A lot of interesting things came up during my self-studies, but somehow I couldn't accept that it would've worked out nicely if only one of us had been up front to the other. Clearly he could've seen that I was focused on my work yet everybody had found me easy to talk to, to relate to, to connect to. It just didn't make any sense, partly because there were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, even though his actions spoke louder than words. It was strange too, that judging from what pathetic little I knew about him, I could feel that he was very familiar to me I couldn't help but think that past lives might be a valid concept. The chemistry and "magic" were all certainly there, but then again, I didn't want to think that his actions were spurred by those factors alone.
I know solidly now at this point that I'd throw caution to the winds and tell him what I feel about him if I was lucky enough to be given another chance at seeing him again. But since I'm not sure about it happening, I'm faced again with the task of finding an answer as to how to make my peace with the whole thing. Through sheer will I tried hard not to let it affect me so much as to disrupt the normal goings on in my life, and I'm proud to say I succeeded in doing so. I've talked to some people about it, but somehow I get the feeling that they don't really understand, and I don't blame them.
Astrology was one subject that really helped me make sense of it on my own. However, I've never gotten any insights from astrologers, except from interpretations I read in books. I was born March 24, 1973, at 4:04 PM. I hope my letter will be interesting enough to merit your attention and consideration. T
Dear Eugenia
I will be marrying a German guy this September. His birthday is August 28, 1970, at 6:20 pm. My date of birth is May 5, 1975, at 3:00 PM. Our wedding is scheduled for Sept 23, Sunday. We've been going out for 1 yr and 2 months and overcome our language barriers. We finally decided to get married. However, what I'd like to know is...should I marry him?
When I first met him, I was attracted to him. He spoke to me first in poor English and that's how he took my heart away. He's tall and good-looking. He's always nice to women so I'm always worried. Also, he doesn't tell me what he thinks. We have been living together for about one year. Since both of us are working, when we get home, he just stays in his computer room. About sex, I always have to ask him because he doesn't take initiative. We have sex about 4 to 5 times a month. Sometimes, I want to have it but it seems that he doesn't care. I feel like I'm asking too much. And I'm worried...
However, I saw him browsing through porn sites several times. Plus, when we need to make a decision, he always lets me do everything. It doesn't matter whether he likes it or not. In the beginning, I thought that he was nice so he let me do whatever I want. But now, I'm sick of this... When he said that he had to go to workshops for his company, I'm always worried too. He always says that I'm pretty but he doesn't take initiative for sex, I 'm afraid that some other beautiful women might ask him out. Sometimes, I can't sleep because of this but it seems he doesn't realize my situation. Our wedding day is coming soon but I'm still worried. I don't want to lose him, but I'm afraid that I may give up because I'm too tired. If possible, please give me some advice.
At Odds
Dear At Odds
I don't know why either one of you is pushing to get married. It is apparent that you have issues to resolve before you decide to step into matrimony. The comparison does indicate a lack of sexual attraction. His chart denotes sexual confusion at an emotional level with his natal Moon square his natal Jupiter in his eighth house. With his natal Venus in his eighth house as well sextile to his natal Mars I would imagine that he definitely has sexual desires. The question is how they manifest themselves with his natal Saturn and his natal Neptune squaring his natal Mars. He needs to determine what turns him on and whether or not you can provide him with what he desires and vise versa. I suggest that you get into sexual counseling as a couple before you take the next step. Communication is required in order to sort through your problems. It doesn't mean that your relationship can't work but like any other relationship nothing is perfect and it's best to sort out what you can before you decide to make a life long commitment to one another.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
In January of 97 I became romantically involved with my teacher (his birth date:Aug.19,1950). He is married (his wife born Aug.10,1955). He had assured me that there was no romantic involvement with her and that he loved me, that the only reason he didn't leave her was because of his child, that theirs was a "business relationship." I believed him and loved him deeply, but recently found out that he still was having relations occasionally with her. He said that all along his feelings had been conflicting, that he didn't want to give her up, so when I said I wanted fidelity, he dumped me. His wife told me she plans to "punish" him. I am hurting terribly because I still love him very much. It is also going to hurt my studies, because he won't allow me in his classes any more. He had also gotten me a job at one of the places where he works. The day he ended the relationship (because I "pushed" him too far, he said), May 3rd (this year), I was angry and said I wanted to quit that job, so he cancelled my involvement in a joint project we were working on, which hurt my students as well as myself. I feel so hurt I cry all the time and wish I could die. I wish I had never said anything, and that our relationship had continued. Now I feel like my whole life is falling apart, because everything I did revolved around him. I have been to the counselor at school; she has been sympathetic but has no suggestions. He calls me sometimes, he says because he is sorry he hurt me, but he offers me no hope. He said he still doesn't know how he feels about anything, that I should do nothing and let time work things out. But I feel like I need to make some decisions about my life. Can you please help me? I don't even know what question to ask you, but perhaps you have some ideas. Thank you for reading my letter. It feels better just to know that you have "listened."
Sincerely,
Teachers Pet
Dear Teachers Pet
What were you thinking? Your comparison with your philandering professor wasn't all that great, for that matter his comparison with his wife wasn't earth shattering either. You are both dealing with a man who is full of himself and very capable of having secret affairs with women who are vulnerable or na?ve enough to believe his dribble. You unfortunately have been going through a very rough couple of years where love and relationships are concerned. Although your chart does denote that you could have someone from your past waltz back into your life, I certainly hope that you have enough will power to say no this time around. You should feel sorry for this man and even sorrier for his wife, whom I must say has also gone through similar transits to you regarding her relationship. I must mention that your chart and his wife's have an uncanny resemblance. I know that you are confused, hurting and you just want to be happy but strength and control will be necessary. I think that the more you back away from this man, the more he will want to come closer. It's hard to control what's in your heart especially when you are as sensitive and loving as you are. You were looking for that white knight who could stimulate you mentally and physically and we all know how hard that is to find. Please try to put this relationship in perspective and move on with your life. You will be in a high cycle for love and romance in June and I would hate to see you waste it on this man. You deserve better and I know that if you get out and join groups or organizations that you believe in you will meet like-minded people who can turn your crank. You match up well to those born under the signs Virgo, Capricorn and Pisces.
Eugenia
