We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am really lost in my life and I don't know what to do. I was born on 03/21/1967 at 1:00am. Two years ago I left my country to live in Mexico together with my daughter (06/16/1989-7:26pm). We lived there for almost one year and we were happy. After some time I met a men who lives in US and we got married. Now we are living in US but the situation is very difficult for me and my daughter. Because my husband (01/31/1959-2:50 am) is only permanent resident here, we have to wait for the immigration process between 5 and 7 years. Meanwhile my daughter and I cannot have a legal status and it was impossible to find other ways to be legal. This means that I cannot work legally, I am 100% dependent of my husband, I feel very lonely and depressed. We don't have family around, we don't have friends. My husband is a very difficult man, grumpy, without any sense of humor, the macho style, stingy, he wants somebody to take care of him, to cook for him, to respect him, he needs a woman that can replace his mother. I caught him right after the wedding, last year, by mistake, that he receives a lot of emails from a lot of women, very loving emails...you know...I was very hurt and upset for a long time. He lived alone for many years and he told me that he was looking for a relationship and even after he said to everybody that he is married and happy now, these women are still writing to him and he doesn't know what to do with them. Can you believe that? Because I didn't...his behavior with my daughter is very bad. He is very rude with her. She is a very nice teenager, brilliant at school, very smart. Everybody loves her except him. She is doing all the time a big effort to please him, but nothing seems to be right for him. He recognizes that she is very intelligent but always he says that she is not doing enough and he puts a lot of pressure on her. I tried hundreds of times to explain to him that his behavior is wrong, but he still thinks he is perfect and his skills like a parent are perfect. In my opinion he doesn't have any skills and he doesn't want to learn anyway.
He was very sick in the last months, he had open heart surgery, and I helped him a lot in his recovery...he was not able to do anything by himself...Even if he recognizes that me and my daughter were very close to him during all this hard time that he had, his behavior doesn't change...is the same grumpy, rude and without manners person.
My daughter and I?are thinking to leave him, but the problem is that we don't have anywhere to go. We cannot return to Mexico, because we don't have anything there anymore, and is the same situation for my country too.
I would not like to divorce (it will be the third one in my life), I really want to work out this relationship, I really want to help him learn how to be a nice person, I really want to have a nice family...He tells me that he loves me, but it seems to be so difficult for him to show that...
What do you see in my horoscope regarding this situation? Do you think that I will be able to find the way to fix all this problems? I don't want to see my daughter unhappy...I don't want to be unhappy too... what do you think about that?
Thank you very much,?
gabituca
Dear gabituca
The astrological comparison that you have with your husband really is quite good. There is some sorrow in an area that deals with children. I believe that his problem is that he was used to living alone and although he craved having a woman in his life a ready made family was not really what he wanted. He fell in love with you and your daughter was something he had to tolerate. It isn?t that he has a bad comparison with her ? in fact it is actually quite favorable however the problem is he can?t wrap his head around the idea of having to deal with the normal life changes that having a teenager around the house brings with it. For you i
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
Hi! Eugenia
I have been having problems with my husband for the past three years (the amount of time we have been married). My husband is financially irresponsible and has a substance abuse problem he doesn't want to admit too. I get so frustrated when he's using drugs. I have even hit him a couple of times (which I have never done before) I get so upset to see him that way and wonder why I am with a person like him. I also just had a baby (not planned but overjoyed!). My baby has become the focus of my life and I want to give him everything. I am fed up with my husband and want to leave him but it has been really hard. He will not leave. I feel like my life is in pause because I can't achieve any of my goals. I am the sole provider of the house. He doesn't help with the bills. Will things change? I really want a better life for me & my baby. What should I do?
I was born July 26, 1973, at 7:41 PM.
Fed Up
Dear Fed Up
The fact that you didn't even mention when your husband was born leads me to believe that you have fallen out of love with this man. It's hard to get that love back when too much has gone wrong. I believe that you are asking me to make a decision for you which I can not do however I can tell you that you are going through your first Saturn return and this is a period where you reevaluate your life and make decisions to stagnate or turn things around. Your husband has a problem and unless he is willing to recognize this and do something about it there is no point wasting your time or subjecting your baby and yourself to his abuse. You must give him an ultimatum to get help and if he doesn't oblige it will be time for you to leave. If you own your house jointly and he won't leave or sign the papers to put the house up for sale you must take legal action. If you rent take your baby and get out. The little bit of cash you lose is not worth putting up with his irresponsibility. On making these comments I do however wish that you had provided me with both your husbands and your babies birth data so that I could get a total view of your situation and if your husband has the capacity to turn his life around for the sake of his family. If you believe in your heart that he doesn't than take the baby and run.
Eugenia
