We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am really lost in my life and I don't know what to do. I was born on 03/21/1967 at 1:00am. Two years ago I left my country to live in Mexico together with my daughter (06/16/1989-7:26pm). We lived there for almost one year and we were happy. After some time I met a men who lives in US and we got married. Now we are living in US but the situation is very difficult for me and my daughter. Because my husband (01/31/1959-2:50 am) is only permanent resident here, we have to wait for the immigration process between 5 and 7 years. Meanwhile my daughter and I cannot have a legal status and it was impossible to find other ways to be legal. This means that I cannot work legally, I am 100% dependent of my husband, I feel very lonely and depressed. We don't have family around, we don't have friends. My husband is a very difficult man, grumpy, without any sense of humor, the macho style, stingy, he wants somebody to take care of him, to cook for him, to respect him, he needs a woman that can replace his mother. I caught him right after the wedding, last year, by mistake, that he receives a lot of emails from a lot of women, very loving emails...you know...I was very hurt and upset for a long time. He lived alone for many years and he told me that he was looking for a relationship and even after he said to everybody that he is married and happy now, these women are still writing to him and he doesn't know what to do with them. Can you believe that? Because I didn't...his behavior with my daughter is very bad. He is very rude with her. She is a very nice teenager, brilliant at school, very smart. Everybody loves her except him. She is doing all the time a big effort to please him, but nothing seems to be right for him. He recognizes that she is very intelligent but always he says that she is not doing enough and he puts a lot of pressure on her. I tried hundreds of times to explain to him that his behavior is wrong, but he still thinks he is perfect and his skills like a parent are perfect. In my opinion he doesn't have any skills and he doesn't want to learn anyway.
He was very sick in the last months, he had open heart surgery, and I helped him a lot in his recovery...he was not able to do anything by himself...Even if he recognizes that me and my daughter were very close to him during all this hard time that he had, his behavior doesn't change...is the same grumpy, rude and without manners person.
My daughter and I?are thinking to leave him, but the problem is that we don't have anywhere to go. We cannot return to Mexico, because we don't have anything there anymore, and is the same situation for my country too.
I would not like to divorce (it will be the third one in my life), I really want to work out this relationship, I really want to help him learn how to be a nice person, I really want to have a nice family...He tells me that he loves me, but it seems to be so difficult for him to show that...
What do you see in my horoscope regarding this situation? Do you think that I will be able to find the way to fix all this problems? I don't want to see my daughter unhappy...I don't want to be unhappy too... what do you think about that?
Thank you very much,?
gabituca
Dear gabituca
The astrological comparison that you have with your husband really is quite good. There is some sorrow in an area that deals with children. I believe that his problem is that he was used to living alone and although he craved having a woman in his life a ready made family was not really what he wanted. He fell in love with you and your daughter was something he had to tolerate. It isn?t that he has a bad comparison with her ? in fact it is actually quite favorable however the problem is he can?t wrap his head around the idea of having to deal with the normal life changes that having a teenager around the house brings with it. For you i
Dear Eugenia,
I have a problem. I am sixteen years old, and I feel like I am forty. My mother is very sick, and I must take care of her, as well as attend school and achieve honor role. I work part time, but the income just isn't always enough to make ends meet. Lately my marks at school have been slipping... the stress is really getting to me, but I need good marks in order to get a scholarship, so I can get a decent education.
My problem is that my mother is mentally ill. She has the mental capacity of a three year old. I do have older brothers and sisters, but the responsibility of taking care of my mum has been put on my shoulders.
I really need some advice on my situation. A reply would be much appreciated. I was born August 18, 1982 at 7:27 PM.
Thank you,
Moly
Hi Moly
Your situation is not great and you have all the right in the world to feel sorry for yourself. You must put added pressure on your siblings in order to make them help out. It is their duty to do so. I suggest that you do consider talking to your mother's doctor regarding your options of a nursing home. I fear that if you don't get some support from family members that you may find yourself working full time and putting your education on hold and that would be a shame. Please write back and tell me more about your situation. Where is your father and do any of your siblings still live at home. What are their situations regarding age, marriage, position to help.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you for answering my letter. You asked for more information about my family: my father passed away, when I was a little girl... too little to remember him, and after him, my mother never married again. I have eight older brothers and sisters, and though none of them live at home, they all live in the same city. They have their own problems - I am not blaming them for not helping me out... I just wish that they were a little more compassionate about my situation.
As for school, I haven't told any of my teachers about my present situation... although I am thinking that it might help quite a bit. Maybe there are some programs or something outside of school, so I can get a full time job, to support my family.
Well, I really don't know what to say... I am really starting to feel the stress, and none of my brothers or sisters are willing to help me out. I have tried to reason with them... but they have their own lives, and their own problems. I think part of it has to do with the fact, that none of them get along with my mother, they just don't have the patience. Only two of my siblings are married, the rest are either full time workers, or full time students.
Regarding the nursing home issue, I just don't feel right about it, no matter which way I look at it. I love my mum way too much to let anything happen to her. I suppose it would probably be better in the long run, but I am really hesitant about that. I am making it sound as though I have no support. In truth, a very special friend at school has been helping me out. We are in a Social Justice group together (that's how we met), and he's the only other person that knows about my situation. He sometimes comes over to take care of my mum when I am working, and he always has a shoulder to cry on. I just feel kind of bad, because he is such a good friend to me, and I have nothing to offer him except problems.
Thank you once again,
Moly
Hi Moly
You are offering your friend lots just by being a friend. You should talk to your teachers they may be able to help you out or at least have suggestions as to how you can continue to study and deal with your home situation. You can't give up your education to take care of your mom. She wouldn't want you to. There would still be the issue of how you would take c
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you in advance for responding and offering this wonderful website. My troubles for the past two years have been in regards to my partner. I am a Leo (11/08/76); he is a Libra (08/10/75). We met each other while quite young, and have managed to maintain a seven-year relationship through the worst of events. Since 2000 however, I have been drifting away from him, wanting more out of life and out of the relationship -things he does not believe he can deliver. I love him dearly, but I am confused as to whether or not this relationship has outlived its usefulness or if I am searching for qualities only found in a "dream-man"? The strain between us has become unbearable. My heart tells me one thing, my head says otherwise. What can be done?
Confused
Dear Confused
Unfortunately I have to admit that you are in a brother sister type relationship right now and it is time to move on. You are feeling depressed and stressed about this because transiting Saturn is adversely aspecting your natal Venus and you know within your heart that it is time to move on. It is never easy to leave someone you care about but you can't stay for the wrong reasons either. Set him free. You are like birds of a feather but you both need someone different. Hopefully you will be able to put this behind you and save the friendship for that is what this union should have been all along.
Eugenia
