We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I am really lost in my life and I don't know what to do. I was born on 03/21/1967 at 1:00am. Two years ago I left my country to live in Mexico together with my daughter (06/16/1989-7:26pm). We lived there for almost one year and we were happy. After some time I met a men who lives in US and we got married. Now we are living in US but the situation is very difficult for me and my daughter. Because my husband (01/31/1959-2:50 am) is only permanent resident here, we have to wait for the immigration process between 5 and 7 years. Meanwhile my daughter and I cannot have a legal status and it was impossible to find other ways to be legal. This means that I cannot work legally, I am 100% dependent of my husband, I feel very lonely and depressed. We don't have family around, we don't have friends. My husband is a very difficult man, grumpy, without any sense of humor, the macho style, stingy, he wants somebody to take care of him, to cook for him, to respect him, he needs a woman that can replace his mother. I caught him right after the wedding, last year, by mistake, that he receives a lot of emails from a lot of women, very loving emails...you know...I was very hurt and upset for a long time. He lived alone for many years and he told me that he was looking for a relationship and even after he said to everybody that he is married and happy now, these women are still writing to him and he doesn't know what to do with them. Can you believe that? Because I didn't...his behavior with my daughter is very bad. He is very rude with her. She is a very nice teenager, brilliant at school, very smart. Everybody loves her except him. She is doing all the time a big effort to please him, but nothing seems to be right for him. He recognizes that she is very intelligent but always he says that she is not doing enough and he puts a lot of pressure on her. I tried hundreds of times to explain to him that his behavior is wrong, but he still thinks he is perfect and his skills like a parent are perfect. In my opinion he doesn't have any skills and he doesn't want to learn anyway.
He was very sick in the last months, he had open heart surgery, and I helped him a lot in his recovery...he was not able to do anything by himself...Even if he recognizes that me and my daughter were very close to him during all this hard time that he had, his behavior doesn't change...is the same grumpy, rude and without manners person.
My daughter and I?are thinking to leave him, but the problem is that we don't have anywhere to go. We cannot return to Mexico, because we don't have anything there anymore, and is the same situation for my country too.
I would not like to divorce (it will be the third one in my life), I really want to work out this relationship, I really want to help him learn how to be a nice person, I really want to have a nice family...He tells me that he loves me, but it seems to be so difficult for him to show that...
What do you see in my horoscope regarding this situation? Do you think that I will be able to find the way to fix all this problems? I don't want to see my daughter unhappy...I don't want to be unhappy too... what do you think about that?
Thank you very much,?
gabituca
Dear gabituca
The astrological comparison that you have with your husband really is quite good. There is some sorrow in an area that deals with children. I believe that his problem is that he was used to living alone and although he craved having a woman in his life a ready made family was not really what he wanted. He fell in love with you and your daughter was something he had to tolerate. It isn?t that he has a bad comparison with her ? in fact it is actually quite favorable however the problem is he can?t wrap his head around the idea of having to deal with the normal life changes that having a teenager around the house brings with it. For you i
Dear Eugenia Last
In Nov of 2000 my son (born April 16, 1984 at 4:10 p.m.) developed a serious mental disease. This has been particularly hard on my younger son (born June 30, 1986 at 12:07 a.m.) and he has decided not to come home anymore because he is treated so poorly by his brother. At the same time my husband, born August 4,1950, has coped with this by staying a work most of his waking hours. To add to the mess he has an employee that he thinks is just perfect and she has been wiggling and giggling her way into our lives for nine years. I have repeatedly asked him to get her out of our lives but he refuses to do so. Since my son's illness started I have been the stay at home mom, nurse, whatever. As well as dealing with my son I also took care of my dad in his last year. He was very sick for a very long time and he had a mitt-full of health issues that made his passing very slow and painful. I have reached a point where all I feel is pain and I am trying to find some way to change my life. Do you have any suggestions - I was born August 24, 1950 at 6:50 PM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
Lets address your relationship with your husband first. You neglected to mention the birth date of his wiggly giggly gal at the office leaving me nothing to work with regarding what's actually going on between them. I can tell you however that last year he was in a cycle that is conducive to having an affair and that he was born with the major sign of sorrow in his chart when it comes to relationships. He does not deal with health issues very well so God forbid he ever get ill himself. He has turned a blind eye on his family when you and your boys needed him the most. This is not the sign of a very strong man or partner and you should seriously consider what you are going to do about your marriage should he not agree to go to counseling to fix the problems you are experiencing. Somehow I don't think he will but you have to ask. With transiting Saturn still moving through an area of his chart that deals with his attitude toward his partner I'd say he is closed to any ideas that suggest fixing what's wrong and is probably in denial because it is the easy way out.
You on the other hand have been a glutton for punishment and you have to put an end to it before you become ill. Being a Virgo it is hard to give in to failure and move on but sometimes it's the only means of survival. The area of your chart that deals with partnerships, marriage etc has been and will continue to go through a make it or break it period so if you don't seek help it is likely to go downhill. You are actually however in a high cycle regarding love this year with transiting Jupiter favorably aspecting your natal Venus however it is not likely that you will get the chance to take advantage of this unless you opt to kick your husband out immediately and move on. It can however help you should you be able to convince your husband to seek help and counseling. Both you and your husband are heading into your second Saturn return during the second half of next year. This is a period of reevaluating your life and making choices that will alter your future. If you both haven't already been thinking along these lines already you will be soon. This period of time will be conducive to making the effort to do something about your relationship or move on. You both went through your first Saturn return in 1979 - if you think back to that time and what you were experiencing it will help you to make the right decision now.
Your sons are a completely different story. There is no excuse for your son with mental disorders to abuse his younger brother and you and your husband should never have let this happen. Your younger son is a Cancer and family means a lot to him. Fortunately he is coming into better times right now and I believe if he can manage to move on he will do just fine however he may
Dear Eugenia,
I have been reading your advice for many years now and I need your help. I have been working at a job in relatively the same field now for over 20 yrs. I have many fears about leaving and going back to school to study because I don't feel it's the right thing. I keep thinking that I should be my own boss and start a sewing/designing company. I was born June 2,1963 @5:35am. My spouse was born Aug.8, 1962 @7:36pm. I feel he is there to support me most of the time but feel he's secretly jealous of anything I may accomplish beyond what I have so far. I really need to get some clear advise, I know if I have your astrological blessing in whatever I choose, I will succeed beyond my dreams. I was raised in a very strict household where boys were treated with more importance and the girls were expected to learn how to be good, quiet housewives, marry someone that would take care of them. I am not that person, but am still held back by my upbringing. I have so many self-doubts, and feel that I am too old or can't learn. I also don't have the finances to just leave my job and go to school. I just need some guidance. Please help me.
Audrey
Dear Audrey
Your chart indicates that you should have signed up for higher education already. Favorable transits will be with you until next summer so if you need to pick up skills in order to pursue your dream get busy. See if you can get the courses you need at night school or through correspondence. That way you can keep your job and you won't feel the financial crunch. Starting your own business is not a bad idea during the last quarter of next year however keep in mind that it is important to support your addiction to whatever your art or dream might be so prepare to work double duty by continuing to hold down your day job while you build your own business on the side. I know this may appear to be overwhelming but that is how most successful people get ahead - by working overtime for a few years. In that way it will be less of a risk. The comparison with your husband is okay and certainly workable. I do not feel so much that he is jealous of your accomplishments but really feeling vulnerable that you may outgrow him if you keep moving up in the world. You must make sure that on top of the heavy workload that you are about to take on that you do not neglect him and that you make him feel as if he is a part of it. My suggestions may sound like a tall order but believe me they can be accomplished. I know first hand because I worked in an unrelated field for seven years as I built up my business. So please don't be daunted by my suggestions - instead embrace them.Your chart does show some problems with health so don't let yourself get rundown just because you are stretched to the limit you still have to eat, sleep and exercise in order to stay strong enough to follow and complete your goals.
Eugenia
