We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Hi,?
I'm not sure where to start.? I was born January 29, 1967 at 3:20 am and my ex husband (Dec 10, 1967, sorry do not know the time) and I have been divorced for 5 years.? For the past year we have been battling back and forth over child support, which a court has ruled, but my ex won't follow it.? The court has made an order for him to pay a set amount, but he only has paid 1/2 that said amount.? He constantly tries to manipulate me into doing what he wants by using fear. And he's good at it.? I've given in to him many times because of the fear.? I see that now, and am trying to change that and not let him push me around anymore. I have a great lawyer who was at the right place at the right time so I've retained her; she also represented me in my divorce.? Anyway, I am now starting to not give in to his scare tactics and standing firm in what I feel is right and going forward with court.? But, my ex just won't give up. Every time he sees me, or calls me, he's got to get in a sharp word to upset me. It's almost as if he's trying everything in the book to get me to back down and let the child support arrears go before our next court hearing in July.? I am getting emotionally worn out but I find the more I keep moving forward, the stronger I get.? Will he EVER leave me alone and let me move on with my life?? He's getting married in July, so I don't understand why the constant harassment.? I do have a great support system in my boss, friends, and my lawyer (who are all Taurus's) and they keep me focused.? I'm just wondering if my ex will ever leave me alone and accept that the law is the law or will we be fighting over "money" for ever?? My other question is I have a friend, (May 16, 1949...sorry, no time of birth) who is very interested in me, and I in him.? We both are taking this "friendship/relationship" slow but want it to develop into a committed relationship.? Will it?? He's wonderful to me, very caring, and giving and loving.? He's very supportive and even protective when it comes to my ex. He does have his "quirks", but we all do and I find that communication works really well when something isn't "right".?? I just wanted to know if this would be a good relationship or a waste of time. I wonder when it will be my turn to be in a loving relationship, and hope this one will develop and work out.? There haven't been many "admirers" knocking on my door since my divorce and it's getting depressing.? Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you have time to respond to it.
Kali
Hi Kali
You can?t back down and you will win. Even though your ex will always try to get away with not paying you must stand firm. If he is abusive and using fear tactics you will have to have your lawyer intervene with a court order forbidding him to talk to you directly. That way the law will deal with him not you. You did not have a good comparison with him but it was a karmic connection that you had to endure. The worst is over and I believe that you can and will get on with your life. You will be coming into a much higher cycle regarding love beginning in the fall of 2005 but that doesn?t mean that the man you are currently seeing won?t be the one. He does match up to you well however as you said he does have his quirks. The comparison did show some signs of him being over protective at times and this can be a problem if you don?t control it from day one. Other than that you have a terrific comparison. My only concern is that you are settling for someone because you are insecure and afraid you won?t get another chance to find love. Please move slowly, in the fall of 2005 you will know whether he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with or someone else will steel your heart at that time. You match up well to those born under the signs Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius and Pisces.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
I've written to you several times but as yet have not had an answer, so I'm sure that you must be extremely busy. Your advice is so thorough that I hope you will answer my letter. I have been seeing a Gemini male, born June 13, 1950, 4:30 p.m. We've been intimate but it has been more as a friendship than anything else. We don't live together but we live nearby one another. I've known him for approximately one and a half years. He comes on hot and cold (depending on his stresses of the day). He works in an extremely high stress job. If he's had a couple of beers he confesses that he likes me and that he can't believe that I would care for someone like him. He insists he wants to remain friends, yet when I tell him that I can't be friends and try to let go, he talks me into hanging around. I love this man deeply and have been trying to help him. Deep down I feel that he cares more than as a friend for me and doesn't want me out of his life. If the job has stressed him that particular day he does not want to talk and if he does, he has a tendency of cutting you off, so that all you want to do is get off the phone with him. Am I wasting my time? Should I continue to be friends with him? He continually tells me that I deserve better because he's not very stable emotionally, then when I stay away and then see him again, he's major happy to see me. Please tell me if it's worth my while to continue being friends with him or should I just leave him alone and hope he gets better without me. I'm having a hard time letting go but I need to know if I'm wasting my time. I was born January 7, 1947 at 5:15 PM.
Sabrina
Hi Sabrina
You have to be friends before you become lovers. Friends are there forever but lovers come and go. Wake up and realize that if you enjoy being with this man it really doesn't matter and get over his Gemini aloofness and enjoy the moment. I do believe that he loves you. You match up very well emotionally, physically and mentally - what more do you want. On the down side he falls in an area of your chart that deals with secret affairs so if he isn't including you in the rest of his life you may have a serious problem to deal with and you fall in an area of his chart that deals with communication and dealing with his friends and family so if there is a problem regarding these matters you may want to consider clearing them up before moving forward. Your chart indicates that you will be in a high cycle regarding commitment and getting serious beginning mid summer however that doesn't guarantee that it will be with him. With transiting Saturn beginning to move across the top of his chart this year you may find him more receptive to settling down as well as less stressed because he will finally be getting the recognition he needs to feel good about his work. If you don't find him leaning toward becoming more serious between now and the fall of next year you may want to set your sights on someone new. That being the case you may want to consider someone born under the sign Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn or Pisces.
Eugenia
Hi Eugenia
My husband has a drinking problem. He has been able to control this problem for the past 5-6 years. Recently he has begun drinking again and there is starting to be the same kind of mental abuse as he displayed in the past. I am at the age where I do not feel I can repeat and repeat this sort of abuse and lifestyle. Money is also becoming an issue as he continues to drink. He continues to threaten to leave and I am at the point where if not for my financial position, I would put the entire relationship behind me and move on alone. Is this a good idea?.......Please help, he is born July 10, 1951 at 6:30 a.m. and I April 25, 1944, at 10 a.m.
Stay or Leave
Dear Stay or Leave
I believe that your husband will become worse before he becomes better. The next year and a half will be filled with all sorts of limitations for him regarding health, authority figures, dealing with institutions and so forth. I feel that the past couple of years you have taken the brunt of his obvious lack of control and abuse and now is the time to give him an ultimatum. Should he leave he will go down hill over the course of the next couple of years. Should he seek help it will take him the next couple of years to reform. As for you I feel that the time for change is fast approaching. That you should be seeking help from women's groups and co-dependent organizations in order to get back on your feet and away from him. Your comparison did indicate that there has been love in the past with this man but that was probably a long time ago. There is also sorrow especially where substance abuse is concerned and because of this I feel that even if he does seek help that there will always be the potential for him to slip over and over again. I do not believe that you will ever be able to fully put his abuse behind you and that your reason for staying with this man has more to do with fear of being alone and lack of funds. Your chart indicates that you are youthful and entertaining and that you will be okay if you can only get yourself out of this situation. By all means - if he wants to leave let him go.
Eugenia
