We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
This service is no longer available.
I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I have lived with a man for the last 6 years. The first couple of years were really hard and our exes and kids caused some problems. We became engaged last year, after much heated debate about where we were going in our relationship. He then told his oldest daughter, we were not getting married, (his children had a problem with his divorce, even though he had been separated for 15 years) and then told me he didn't want to get into it with her. Well, he has told me recently that he really didn't want to get married, but we have agreed I would take his last name, and he still wanted to buy me a ring. Just recently on a trip home with his daughter (23 years old) he told her that after our trip to Florida he was breaking up with me. The thing is when I confronted him about this he totally denied it and says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So, does he just say things to her so she wont freak out, or is he really lying to me. His birth date is Feb. 28/1955 and mine is September 14, 1971 at 5 AM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison with your Pisces man is good but it does show signs of emotional deception. He probably isn't being completely honest with either one of you. Before I go any further however I have to ask you why the whole marriage thing is so important to you. Why would you want to take on his name having your name differ from your children's not to mention the complications changing it back should your relationship not work. Keep in mind that legally you are considered married after cohabitating as long as you have. If I were you I would settle for being included in his will so that you are taken care of in the future. Especially if you have both contributed to your home, household, investments etc.
As mentioned your comparison is good but there is an element that indicates that it could end abruptly so you may want to consider the legal aspects that count regarding property etc instead of whether or not you have the same last name.
His chart shows evidence of sorrow when it comes to relationships and that he can swivel rapidly when it comes to his affections. To force this man to marry would probably be the beginning of the end so if I were you I wouldn't go there.
I don't believe his kids at this stage of the game have the right to dictate what he does with his life and that he is only using how they feel as tool to back out of the marriage.
If you truly love this man, and it appears you do, I would be more inclined to leave well enough alone and enjoy your time together. I believe if you push too hard he will have a change of heart. You know the old saying if something works why fix it.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
Thank you for providing this service for self-exploration. These days my computer is on auto pilot to your I Ching feature; although he has proven insightful, I would like the chance of experiencing the human element of your web site.Here goes.... My husband and I are both Aries, and have totally different personality traits. I was born 24/03/1960, at 2 AM. My husband birth date is 22/03/1961, I do not know his time of birth. I am energetic, motivated, outgoing, competitive; he is passive, laid back, doesn't like change. When we were married in 1981, we moved over 1000 miles away from our birthplace and families. Since 1981 to now, we have experienced a lot of life, from our youngest son being diagnosed with Cancer, to loosing my father. Right now, we are in a position to re-evaluate our career paths, and move closer to home. In the small northern community that we live in, the health and education systems are in shambles. We decided last March to let our eldest son have the opportunity to go to a boarding school. He loved it, and will be returning this September. For me, it is very hard to have my 15-year-old son living away from home. I have taken the initiative of "doing" a resume for my husband and have sent it out to several places... and telling him after the fact. He is now getting responses for interviews. You see, the company that he works for is re-evaluating their economic viability, and have closed down operations for one year, while still maintaining all staffing levels. We are in limbo. He came home from work the other night, and said there was a job posting up for a job he would really like to apply for at this "Limbo Company", and that he liked to be "comfortable". I need change, and to be with my family... Does this mean DIVORCE COURT!!!
Regards,
Limbo Land
Dear Limbo Land
Just because you are born under the same sun sign does not mean that you have to be alike. A personalized chart is like your thumbprint. There are several differences that stand out between you and your husband's charts even without having his birth time. I wouldn't be surprised however if he were born around the noon hour giving him a Cancer ascendant. If this is the case I suspect that he will be moving along with you and not staying put. This could be because he gets an interesting offer from one of the companies you sent his resume to or because he does not get the job at the Limbo Company. You match up too well to have divorce enter the picture, as I'm sure you are well aware. Changes are apparent and the opportunity to make a move looks good. I'd be putting your house on the market if you own it or looking for a place to live closer to your birth place come October with hopes of selling your house or making your move sometime before the end of the year.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
I am going through a breakup in my marriage of 15 years. It has been a very rocky marriage with control and mistrust on my part, and dishonesty and no loyalty on her part, and we haven't been friends in a long time, to name the most major problems. We were in turmoil for 4 weeks before we had an argument and then have been separated for 5 weeks now and have really had some nasty times. Some of the things she has said are very hurtful, and I don't know what is true and what is not. I think that most men would not stick around to hear the things she has been saying, but for some reason I can't seem to stop loving her and wanting her to come back to build on what we have or had. I have heard that she hasn't been in love with me in years- she was just "settling" or "getting by". I do now recognize some signs of her feeling this way, but I have a hard time seeing it being as much as she says. When we weren't mad at each other, there was always holding hands, cuddling, kissing, that type thing that after 15 years a lot of partners don't do as much as we did. I have really come to the realization that my mistrust and controlling manners have to change no matter what- and we're very misplaced with her. Basically, I realize that she came home to me every night, and now she doesn't- that's all that matters to me now. She wants some space to figure out who she is and has sometimes said things that give me hope (false hope is how she words it). She has also said several times that it is over and she just wants to move on. I can't seem to get my head into "moving on" as every one tells me to. I also can't seem to leave her alone and give her space. I am obsessed with trying to talk to her to start becoming friends- but it just makes her angrier and turns into a nasty fight sometimes. I don't know how to control my urge to not leave her alone because my whole life seems to be just falling apart without her beside me.
Can you guide me into a more secure or comfortable place?
Sorry I don't know the time of her or my birth. Her day was May 2/60 and mine is Sept. 11/66.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison does indicate trouble. There is a lack of trust and communication along with deception and anger. Uncertainty will always be a problem between the two of you regardless of whether you stay together or not. You need to let go. You have a good chart and if you can only realize that you were totally mismatched regarding your values and hers you might be able to move on. You match up to people born under the signs Taurus (not her - I'll explain later), Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Capricorn and Pisces. She may be a Taurus but only by Sun sign. She has her natal Mercury and Venus in the sign Aries and this sign does not match up to you at all. Mercury and Venus represent the way she thinks and communicates along with her morals, ethics and Venus represent the way she loves etc. What actually drew you together was the fact that you both have your Moon in the sign Cancer but that isn't enough to make a relationship work. She is erratic and can change her mind very rapidly. She wants to have fun and she needs freedom to come and go as she pleases. You need companionship, trust and someone who wants to be with you all the time. This connection just won't work that way. We are who we are and as much as either one of you may want to change I fear that the same problems will continually surface. You are headed toward lots of changes and you have to wrap your head around that and accept the inevitable. Should she even entertain the thought of getting back together it wouldn't be long before she would want to move on again. Let go and start anew. I believe that she has decided to do just that. The only time I see a possible reconciliation is this fall however as I mentioned before - should you get back together it would only be for a short period of time be
