We've all experienced times of conflict and personal struggle. Times when the assistance and advice of a friend always seemed to lend comfort and ease the burden. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if that friend was one of the world's most revered astrologers, with over 25 years of experience?
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I have decided to put more time and energy into my research. It’s been a pleasure to answer your emails and to help you through some of life’s tough journeys. Everyone who has participated in my Dear Eugenia column has enriched my life and I hope I have improved yours as well.
For those of you who wish to contribute birth data to my research, please enter your information to my medical astrology research listed on my home page. This research is explicitly dealing with cancer and mental health – addiction illness. The focus is on early diagnosis and preventative medicine.
I want to stress how important it is to submit complete and accurate birth data – the time and place of birth.
The following are our 'Dear Eugenia' letters archive:
Dear Eugenia,
I have lived with a man for the last 6 years. The first couple of years were really hard and our exes and kids caused some problems. We became engaged last year, after much heated debate about where we were going in our relationship. He then told his oldest daughter, we were not getting married, (his children had a problem with his divorce, even though he had been separated for 15 years) and then told me he didn't want to get into it with her. Well, he has told me recently that he really didn't want to get married, but we have agreed I would take his last name, and he still wanted to buy me a ring. Just recently on a trip home with his daughter (23 years old) he told her that after our trip to Florida he was breaking up with me. The thing is when I confronted him about this he totally denied it and says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So, does he just say things to her so she wont freak out, or is he really lying to me. His birth date is Feb. 28/1955 and mine is September 14, 1971 at 5 AM.
Virgo
Dear Virgo
The comparison with your Pisces man is good but it does show signs of emotional deception. He probably isn't being completely honest with either one of you. Before I go any further however I have to ask you why the whole marriage thing is so important to you. Why would you want to take on his name having your name differ from your children's not to mention the complications changing it back should your relationship not work. Keep in mind that legally you are considered married after cohabitating as long as you have. If I were you I would settle for being included in his will so that you are taken care of in the future. Especially if you have both contributed to your home, household, investments etc.
As mentioned your comparison is good but there is an element that indicates that it could end abruptly so you may want to consider the legal aspects that count regarding property etc instead of whether or not you have the same last name.
His chart shows evidence of sorrow when it comes to relationships and that he can swivel rapidly when it comes to his affections. To force this man to marry would probably be the beginning of the end so if I were you I wouldn't go there.
I don't believe his kids at this stage of the game have the right to dictate what he does with his life and that he is only using how they feel as tool to back out of the marriage.
If you truly love this man, and it appears you do, I would be more inclined to leave well enough alone and enjoy your time together. I believe if you push too hard he will have a change of heart. You know the old saying if something works why fix it.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia:
My birth date is July 1, 1949 1:00 am, my husband is May 18, 1946.
I am going through a very emotional time in my life. My mother (to whom I was very close died in April) which caused a major family fallout which resulted in a lot of our family not talking to each other and breaking ties completely. Prior to and during this time I feel that my marriage has come to an end. We have been married for 33 years and have been drifting apart for some time. We have very little communication what so ever, and any that we have is mostly anger and aggression. I also feel that there has been someone else in my husband's life. I am confused as to why he doesn't just walk away from the marriage and yet if I had to confront him I have learned from past experiences that he would just lie anyway so I don't see the point, as he is very abusive verbally. My biggest problem in leaving the marriage is financial security, as I do not have the confidence that I could survive on my own. (My childhood was very poor and insecure and I am sure this has a lot to do with my current insecurities especially financial) I have gained a lot of weight with the stress of everything going on in my life which does not help my self esteem and my work is suffering as I cannot concentrate on things at work. I cannot see a future for myself on my own yet my health is suffering daily from staying in this relationship as I cannot understand why I have stayed in this emotional abusive situation for so long. Do you see a brighter future for me and some self-improvements that could help me have the confidence to walk away. And is there a possible suitable companion that could give me the loving caring relationship that I dream of is possible in this life. Can you please advise?
Desperate.
Dear Desperate.
Life is like a lit match. It burns rapidly and then it's gone. For all the time that people waste in situations that are unbearable I have little sympathy. You are the master of your own will and destiny and its time for you to get a grip and move on. You will be in a better position next year to start that diet, join a fitness group, start swimming and so forth. For now you have to take care of business and that means call up your real estate agent if you own your home and force the issue to put it on the market. Split your assets down the middle and start to make plans for the future. Life is simple; it's people who make it complex. You've been clinging to something that is doing nothing but bringing you down. Where you should have been excelling professionally this year you've been vacillating about your personal life. You will have a positive cycle professionally between October and February and you should do whatever you can to focus on your job, career and advancement. If you work hard you will do just fine. During the last half of next year and the first half of 2002 you will be in a high cycle romantically. If you are still with your husband you will miss that opportunity. Your game plan should be focus on work and selling assets in order to split what you have together. Next get into shape during the spring and summer of next year followed by new friends and lovers. You match up well to those born under the signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius and Aquarius.
Eugenia
Dear Eugenia,
The year 2000 came with fireworks, just not the fireworks I was expecting. After 5 years in a relationship with the same man, two and half of which we were married, he indicated January 2,2000 that he was not sure if he was "in love" with me. This was perhaps not a surprise to me, as we had been having conflicts over the last year due to my attending grad school and we had attended counseling, per my request. After much debating, I decided to leave our house on Jan 8, 2000 and allow him some "time to think." It was during that time that I found out that there was another woman with whom he was involved. I have always been very naive, too naive I suppose! He was my first boyfriend and, therefore, my only experience. Since my discovery, I have endured many unpleasant moments, which I would rather not retell. A month after we were separated, I decided that I could not continue with a relationship which was based on a lie, and so I filed for divorce. And so here I stand, filled with anger and pain. Feeling guilty as perhaps the reason why he ended up involving himself with someone else was my fault or my dedication to my career...I don't know whether that is a question that you may be able to answer, but, for my own peace I would like to know. I was born April 4, 1975, at 8:15 a.m. sun sign: Aries; rising sign: Taurus/ He was born November 3, 1971 (unfortunately, don't know what time).
Thank you...
Standing Alone
Dear Standing Alone
Your comparison indicates that you are well suited to one another in most ways. There is however two things that would cause problems in your relationship. The first being deception and the second being an element of anger that appears to be present regarding position and status in society. He may have felt some insecurity regarding your direction professionally, however that is no excuse for him to be with someone else. Especially while you were still together. He should have talked to you about the way he felt long before the situation got out of hand. I doubt however that it would have made much of a difference in the outcome because I feel strongly that your educational pursuits are very important to you, and so they should be. He is approaching his Saturn return and this is making him re-evaluate his past as well as pushing him to make the changes necessary to move forward in a way that he sees most suitable. Unfortunately even if he does want to make amends I feel that you are best to move forward yourself. You should be continuing your studies and pushing to be the best that you can be. There will be other partners in the future who will treat you properly so don't feel so alone. Focus on your educational pursuits because that is what you should be doing right now and when the time is right the white knight will rock your world. You do match up well to the sign Scorpio so don't rule out getting involved with another one.
Eugenia
